sad mornings.

It's now 10 years since I lost my son to pancreatic cancer and I still have 'bad' days - and, as you say, mornings are the worst. However, it does get better with time. Hang in there, you will come through this horrible time.

Andy

It is very early days for you, I am only 5 months in but still getting really bad days. BUT. and this is a big BUT!. It is getting better. You dont really notice it but when you suddenly look back and realise how much darkness you have come through, it does give you hope. We were together for 32 years, I feel like my soul has died, but I am hanging on to the thought that better days will come. You have to hang on to that. I feel it most on weekends, especially sundays which I have never liked anyway. You will get your confidence back with driving, maybe go for some short local drives on quiet days to get the feel of it again. Sending love xxx

Hello Maureen!

Yes with you on the morning thing. I sometimes wonder of a morning why I should get out of bed. It's been 3 months for me since my husband passed from bowel cancer. Some days I forget he is gone and then it hits like a wave that he is very much so. But I get up and get dressed even if it does mean looking a 4 walls all day. We did so much together practically joined at the hip but all that is gone now and it's so cruel. He has been robbed of his retirement. This is all `firsts` for me like I take will be for some of you too. My first autumn/winter without him my first birthday in November without him and I can't even begin to think about Christmas. Last year was a write off because he was so ill. People tell me it gets better it never leaves you, but does get better. I just hope that's true. Love and Best Wishes to you all going through this. 

I too have gone back to driving. I couldn't for quite a few years due to ill health myself but I got better and it was hubby's wish before he passed I start again to give me my independence without him. He said to me `you have a driving license going to waste, I's love to see you using it again`. So I went to the GP and got checked over checked with DVLA etc and I'm good to go as they say. I'm still building my confidence back up with it but I've taken to it again like a duck to water. I'm trying not to be too `clever` or daring just yet out driving and motorways are out for the time being. There will come I time I know I will have to tackle them. I just stick to routes I know for the time being and just hope I'm making him proud and he's looking on from wherever he is now. My love and best wishes to you. 

xx

Well done on the driving!

I also had to get driving. I passed my test in 1988 in the UK, and never really drove again as I moved to Barcelona the next month i

We didn't need a car and later when we moved out in 2005 my

husband drove. I remember thinking I would need to know how to drive in case ever had to take my husband to hospital.

So that came true. I did some refresh classes in 2022 and started directly on motorway to hospital. I am proud I could take my husband to hospital for the cancer treatments,

In the last 2 months when he couldn't walk down the 3 flights of stairs the ambulance crew would pick him up which he didn't like. 

He would be pleased I can drive now

And am not the only one making husband and ourselves proud. 

Well done to us all

Hi Daybreak!

I didn't do any refresh courses I was going to but they are so expensive here in the UK. Some days I would just go out and sit in the car in the driveway and `think` about taking it out but `thinking` was as far as it got and just got as far as starting up the engine.  Then one day our street was more or less empty of cars and I said `to hell with it` if I don't do it now I never will so I managed to drive round out block and back again which was quite an achievement for me. The beauty is too is our car is an automatic so I've only two pedals to navigate the break and accelerator and the gears change themselves automatically. Everyday I get that bit more confident so it's building all the time. Yes like to think we are all making our partners/spouses proud too wherever they may be. 

xx

Hello to all 

A good post about driving. I don't drive as it wasn't really necessary before and I just didn't get round to it living in big cities like Glasgow and London for many years. However, when we moved to rural France in 2000, it became a question again. I started but didn't finish the Code as it is called in French ie the technical road bits. Barry drove then so it never got done. We had to get either friends or the local taxi service for the eventual hospital visits. This was sometimes difficult to do especially in a foreign country. I quickly became an expert in the language. Now, I am thinking about starting driving again. There is no local transport here either which makes it difficult too. I am going to find out about it and gain my independence ! Barry would have backed me up I know. I am missing him and his wise words so much. Now 17 months later since he died. 

Hugs out there lovely people