Out of Nowhere

Oh WDJ 

How well I know how that feels. Comes up on you unawares and hits you like a b.........y brick. Felt it strangely last week too ? My recent posting about feeling irritable says it all. I even tried to explain it to my doctor, and she was sympathetic but gave me pills to calm me down, the only problem is I can't touch any alcohol! Not sure which is worse ?

What can I say to help ? As you said, one day it "cleared " and that's good. You got through it and survived. See how far you have come ? 

I have been looking at Julia Samuel's book, Grief Works again. I bought it a year ago, but didn't get through it, just not the right time. Now I am looking at things differently. She says " our relationship with time feels changed. The future can look daunting, and there can be a longing to return to the past. The best we can do is to keep our outlook short, with attention focused on each day and each week "

This is quite good and I am trying that approach !

Take care oh and have a hug ! That helps too.

Hi Fifinet,

Hope you're feeling a bit better too. 

I like that idea: a short outlook on things. It ties in with the idea of living in the moment, which I'm trying to do rather than look ahead. It hasn't always worked but I'm giving it a go!

Take care,

WDJ

I am getting times like this too. It is as if you are just at the start of this horrendous journey, you feel like you have made zero progress, it just hits you from nowhere. x

Exactly how I have been feeling for 10 days now, tears just seem to flow easily. It's only been 6 months for me and last week was our anniversary and September was the time we always seemed to go on holiday...once the crowds were gone....lots of memories popping up, all added to how I feel. I had to leave my art class last week as I just burst into tears and no idea what triggered it!! I hate my life without hubby, but don't want to go through the rest of my life like this! Feel like I'm back at the start of this godawful journey!  

Sorry for hijacking the post!

Its awful isnt it? It just takes you by surprise. Its 5 months for me, I am sick of crying! You feel as though you might be healing a little bit then you hit a bad patch and wonder what the hell happened. I had a similar experience at the supermarket a couple of weeks ago, I could barely hold it in, I rushed round chucking anything in my trolley just to get out of there and back in my car where I sat crying and getting sympathetic looks! I dont want to feel like this, I feel like I have lost myself. x

Hi WDJ,

I know this feeling only too well. I have been experiencing this for about the last 2-3 weeks. I am waking up in the morning with a knot in my stomach and thinking another day to face without my love and soulmate. I try to be positive with my outlook but I'm finding it a bit hard at the moment. It helps a bit that I go to some local bereavement cafes and my mood improves while there and for a while afterwards. Like most us feel, most friends can't comprehend what we are, and have been, going through, but I do have one or two who seem to get it.

I am trying to move forward with my life but sometimes it feels that I take two steps forward and then one step backward. I have been away on my own a few times now but it still pains me to be without Lin, especially at mealtimes when I remember her sitting opposite me and chatting about plans or what we did that day.

Hopefully things will improve for us over time but I reckon it's a long haul.

Best wishes

Derek