Hi

Hi Jose

I am sorry you have had to come here, i lost my hubby, on 8th October 2019, and we where married, 53 years, my first love ,

Know how you fill, it is the simple things one misses the most i think.

Some  one to say Good Morning to, Good Night, would you like a cup of tea, and to discuss, what we have watched on the tv.

At the start, i felt like i was cut in half, half of me was missing and they where, and i did not know who i was, with out him.

Did not think i could or would survive without him, it is hard, time has slowly passed by, i have learnt to deal, with so many things, that  he always dealt with, i do not like it, but have proofed to my self i can, a hard learning curb. I am not the same person i was, i have become a different me, and take no nonsense from any one, when on the  phone, dealing with people, i would never say boo to a goose.

I was diagnosed in 2016, and he was with me, threw three years of treatment, he was my strength, and i did it for him.

I know he would want me, to, carry on fighting, and i do, not for me, for him and the children.

Yes i have a life, not the one i want, though i carry on, the best i can, its hard really hard.

Yes the weekends and evenings are hard, more so when winter  is here, such a long long night.

I fill you pain, and hope you will, find some comfort, from this group.

xxx

Hello can resonate so much with what you have going on. I am just adjusting to losing my husband of 40 years after a 2 year battle with bowel cancer. He took everything they could throw at him at one point beating it and being clear and then it came back 5 months later and decided this time it was taking him and he passed on the 23rd June this year. Yes it's all the `firsts` for me just now. This is my first winter without him. At this time we would be cozying up on Saturday nights to watch all the autumn schedules Strictly, X Factor (when it was on) etc but  it's just me here now watching Saturday night telly. No one to laugh with now or discuss things with and as you say Ellie it's a learning curve trying to do things that he did i.e. taking the car for it's MOT actually managed that and got it through as well so pleased with myself on that one. I forget sometimes he is gone but then something happens that reminds you very much so that he is not here. If something good or bad happens you want to share it but he's not here to do that. The milestones and occasions he won't see either. It's our wee granddaughters 3rd birthday this week. She was the apple of his eye, and he was so emotional when she was born he never thought he would ever be a grandad. He worked 50 years without so much a visit to a GP or hospital and then retired in 2019 and then after that it was an everyday occurrence beginning with a diagnosis or Type 2 Diabetes then everything went downhill from there and the cancer symptoms surfaced at the end of 2020 which had apparently been dormant for 3 years previous. He ended up with having 4 bouts of sepsis at the end also the third one they thought would take him but he pulled through only for it to happen a 4th time and this time along with his advancing cancer eventually did take him. Yes cancer is a beast of a disease and robs you of everything your hopes, plans and dreams. Yes weekends are the worst especially at this time of the year with winter approach and the dark nights coming in so quick. I wish you all well going through this as am I and hope we can see a future for ourselves somewhere out there. Best Wishes. 

Vicky xx