My anchor/comforter/leveller/world died two and a half weeks ago. He was diagnosed with stage 4 non hodgkin s lymphoma 3 years ago. he underwent extreme chemo, returned to hospital twice thro a & e with sepsis and made good recovery. his cancer was amazingly in remission, he was put on a two year course of maintenance chemo injection, one every two months. However, 3 months ago he had his covid booster. He began to feel unwell, scratchy throat, very tired, no energy. He was a very very fit 73 year old, working physically hard all is life, a builder and everything associated with that trade and for the last twenty years helping me with my farm. He honestly worked like a forty year old.
He became very unwell and admitted to hospital with suspected infection, where he stayed for nearly 3 months. He was swamped to drips: antibiotics, blood transfusions, bronoscopy. He was desperate to come home, the natural world with fields and trees instead he was in a room on his own, the windows opened a mere inch, the glass covered in hideous patterned film. He was reliant on oxygen by now ,as his sats kept dropping.
We were called to the hospital at 6am on 18th aug, i was fearing the worst as he d had an episode? When we arrived he was as he usually was when we visisted. In bed, on oxygen talking coherently as usual. Relief. A consultant came mid morning to say there was no more they could do for him and the palliative nurses would be along shortly. which they were. He asked what would happen, they said they would sedate him then gradually with draw the oxygen. He ate lunch. then the process began at 6pm. He died at 3.15am on the 19th.
I am traumatised, devastated unable to process what s happened. I will never get over this. I ve had experience of end of life care with my parents but this is something else.
Horrendous.
