Reaching out.

It doesn't sound self pitying at all. You are in the very early stages of being bereaved

Sorry, I didn't mean to 'send' at that point.

My husband passed away nearly 6 years ago after 35 years of marriage ( I still check in here on odd occasions), and I remember the feeling of being totally overwhelmed , wondering how I would cope with life. I think that's normal!

My husband's death followed two other family deaths that I had to deal with, and then, 2 years ago, the death of my mum whom I cared for. My daughter has since been diagnosed with a serious, though not life threatening, condition.

The way forward, corny as it may sound, is one step at a time. In time you will feel differently. Your family need you and I guess that eventually you will find reason, and purpose in them. I now have a granddaughter and do childcare for her. I'm sad that my husband never knew her, and it's tiring(!),  but I do enjoy it and have found purpose in doing it.

Life won't ever be the same, but it can be good. It's too soon for you to believe that, so don't panic. You will eventually begin to enjoy things again, but at your stage it's hard to imagine you ever will. 

I would say, for the moment, try not to think too far ahead. I found this group very helpful, and hope that I can be an encouragement to others.

I am learning to live life, albeit differently. I've found I can do things on my own, not everything, but quite a lot. In fact sometimes I prefer to do them alone instead of with friends! I feel like I'm getting to know me again. It's very strange after being part of a couple for so long! You'll get there in the end, I'm sure.

Sending you a big virtual hug, 

It's not self pitying, you really are in the early stages and have a lot to contend with. I'm only 6 months from losing my husband and its hard, but we find the strength from somewhere. Sending hugs x

Northern lass

Such good advice and gives me hope!....I'm only 6 months from losing the love of my life and have many ups and downs. You have given me encouragement, though I know I won't always see that on this roller coaster of grief x

Thank you. Felt really down yesterday, don’t want to put more onto the lads especially negative feelings. We have meeting with funeral directors tomorrow and I’m dreading it. at least we had talked a bit about his wishes. 

Thank you, helps to know others are walking a similar path. 

I've found that the 'roller coaster' has less ups and downs as time goes on! They do still come occasionally, but they do for most people in any situation I guess. Just keep moving forward at a pace you can cope with. X

I think most people are going through 'stuff', even when they appear to be ok. You've just suffered what I think is probably one of the most difficult things any one goes through, you're allowed to be down, angry, all sorts of things. Be kind to yourself, as I imagine you probably would be to someone else. It does get easier, I promise. X