Emotions like a tsunami hit!

Hello 

I hear and fel your pain. I am so so sorry for your loss and how you are feeling. I have been through this too. Only one year since my Barry died and sometimes the waves of grief overwhelm me. Best to let it all out. Don't keep it bottled up. It comes from no where, you aren't prepared for the tsunami but it does subside. There are moments of peace and calm I have found. In listening to ourselves, breathing quietly and focusing inward on how we are feeling just in the moment. Hang on !

It will pass. I am glad you DID write. We are all here for you.

Big hugs 

Hi, the first year is the WORST, so many firsts to get through.  Is almost 2 years for me and I have bad days still, always going to happen. As Fifinet says, dont bottle it up (my counsellor said same thing) if you beed to let it out do so.

Im finding that exercising is helping, stretching classes twice a week, great fir wellness.  Cant believe I just said that from the person who would laugh at the thought if exercising.  

take care

Chelseabluegirl

• I posted on here for the first time last night after a tsunami of grief hit me 15 months after my husband passed. For the most part I've been OK but then I have moments of deep sadness.  I think the hardest thing is everyone assumes that your doing well as life and routines get back to some normality.  Like you, I'm a young widow( in my 40s) so work and home life has to continue but I think all you can do when hit with these big feelings, is to let them out. Luckily for me when I've felt this way, I've had a distraction or a friend but last night I was alone, desperately trying not to wake the kids with my tears, so typing out my feelings was a cathartic experience.  My only advice to you is to allow yourself to feel and 9 months is a blink of an eye with grief. It may be that your looming birthday is a trigger, but ive done all my firsts and still have these moments.  Keep sharing and know that although it may feel like it, you are not alone.xxx

Thank you for your kind words and support. I’m sorry for your loss.

I do meditation and yoga which does help your right. 
my birthday passed as a normal day, I didn’t want to celebrate, just be with my own thoughts quietly.

I did organise a gift for myself from my Andy, I had his signet ring, resized so I can wear it. It was so big, the jewellers even made me a think gold band to go with my wedding ring Andy designed on my birthday last year, they also made a tiny gold heart charm, engraved with our initials to wear on the chain I had for our wedding day last September.

These very special pieces helped me that day.

Few more firsts to go yet, our first wedding anniversary in September.

thank you again.

big hugs

me xxx

So sorry for your loss & also so young with children. My heart goes out to you all.

I’ve just read something that says after the first year the grief really hits as you start to come to terms with it and know this is it! Life without our loved ones.

your right, everyone just carries on with their lives and believes we are too - little do they know eh! I lost a long term friend as she asked if she could come and stay with me (we moved to rural west wales almost 4 years ago) I said no as she hadn’t wanted to come when Andy was alive, despite so many invitations! Never heard from her since and you know what, my life’s no worse off without her in it!

sending love & strength to you and your children.

me xx

I’m certainly not holding anything in, I’ve become very honest too if anyone dies both to ask how I’m doing.

I do go to yoga now, and walk our poor woofs for miles - I’m so glad I have them or I probably wouldn’t leave the house as I work from home.

big hugs n love

me x

Bless You All!  

I too am going to start experiencing all those `firsts`. Jay managed to hold on though for our 37th wedding anniversary on the 21st June then two days later he was gone. It was as if he wanted to a least let me have that with him. So I am going to have my first birthday without him in November. I turned 60 last year but in no way could we have any kind of celebration as he was really poorly back then and even Christmas was a write off and this willJust so  be my first without him this year also. It's the dark winter days I'm not looking forward too- at least the TV is usually good round about that time so that's a plus. Just so cruel he beat his cancer last January (2022) when they cut it all out but he had no post chemotherapy which they said wasn't necessary and I asked if they could even as a precaution to maybe catch something which might have been missed and still lurking but they had the last say and five months later in May (2022) it came back for him and finally took him last month. I am very bitter at that to think something maybe could have been done to stop it coming back but as they said `wasn't necessary` and he might still be here. Hugs and Best Wishes to you all. 

xx