Feeling down in the dumps

Hi Fifinet

It's another example of the waves of grief that come over without warning,   Also, you're busy creating your exhibition of Barry's photos and that will bring your lives memories to the forefront of your mind, I think.

On the outside we do put our painted smile/face on for show, where in reality on our own, we let the façade drop in private because we are strong for other people,  maybe. 

I walked around a local scout garden fete on Saturday by myself and felt the envy you mentioned,  Colin and I held hands all the time and I really miss that I did lol at 2 young lads playing on the splat the rat game- Ratty won everytime

It's good to get things off your chest and where better than here

Xx

Hi Fifinet

Moan away.  I'm feeling exactly the same.  I've been busy too, but have started going back to bed to read during the afternoon, mainly I think just to pass time.  I've no energy or interest in things.  Like BootsyD I recently went to our village fete.  It was lovely, but I just felt so alone.  Another part of the rollercoaster of grief I guess.

Big hugs.

Hello again 

Many thanks for the replies ! 

Today is another day, as we now know.  Have been invited out to lunch by friends locally. I can prepare my exit if necessary! I just never know how I am going to feel ? 

Will we always feel this way ? I hope not.

Take care 

Hugs 

Hi Fifinet,

Yes is my answer! Absolutely. It's weird as I thought the winter months would be the difficult ones but as the sun finally has arrived, even here in the UK - all of it - I find myself feeling a little worse again. I've had fewer tears, but guilt has crept back in a bit.

I've also found that few people are asking me now how I am. One very good friend annoyed me recently when saying "Well, it's been a year now ...". It's as if they think that's long enough - get on with it. There was no malice intended and I've come to the conclusion that they just don't get it or that perhaps their relationship isn't what I had.

Take care,

WDJ

I should add that the yes is to your original post Fifinet.

Hi WDJ 

I have this suspicion that people who still have their beloved partners are frightened. Either to sympathize with us or to comfort us because they just can't do it. I have experienced the annoyance you spoke of when we are basically told to get on with it. I have to walk away from them as it only upsets me. Not what I need ! 

On your other post about moving house ? Not easy this one. I can't see me moving at all. That overwhelms  me too. 

For the moment I am ok here with good neighbours and in a village with all amenities nearby. All my memories of 23 years with Barry in France are mainly good. Until he became ill. 

You still need time I think to decide what you want to do. Not easy though I know. 

Well just rambling on now, had better stop .

Take care