Hello everyone
Nearly a year, the 30th May, since Barry died. Still can't believe it and haven't really accepted it at all. Probably never will. Just learning to be me again, living alone, but with a lovely pussycat who has been my loyal companion throughout.
As I live in France, the funeral arrangements were very different to the UK, and it all had to be done within 5 days, cremation and funeral. Certainly focused me to do everything as Barry would have wished too. Luckily I knew what he wanted long before, but we didn't dwell on it. I bought a plot which will be for me later too, and I organized a small tribute at the Jardin de Souvenir, memory garden. I managed with the help of friends to get through it. Then afterwards, the following days with all the paperwork to do that had to be done quickly too.
A few months passed, and I thought a bench would be good in the cemetery for Barry, and for me when I came to visit. This is not an idea that the French really do, certainly not in rural areas like me. The cemetery is owned by the local Marie, not the Church. I enquired and nearly a year later I think I am going to get it done. They say they now have one and it is being repainted.
It has taken so long ? Very unsettling. I managed to do a plaque relatively quickly which was good. It reads with his name and the words And we begin again . One that Barry knew about.
I am re reading this as I didn't post it ! Technical error on my part.
Well, the update is that the 30th May has come and gone. The first year anniversary. Panic and tears before, but on the day not too bad. Supported by so many friends. I did get the bench which is a huge achievement in French terms !! Only 11 months which is pretty amazing. I can now go and sit there in the peace and quiet. I talk to Barry all the time but the awful loss is still with me.
Hugs to you all out there
