So instead of being in the lung cancer forum, I'm now here. My brilliant and amazing husband Cam died 12 weeks ago. He was 41. Only diagnosed in Feb 22. He didn't want to die. He didn't want to leave me. The sadness is unrelenting. I'm so sad and angry and lonely and feel so alone. I miss him every minute of every day. I have this life that I don't want without him. He was my best friend, my everything.
I have a few friends who have been amazing. Others, including family who have either disappeared or who think that a text every few weeks is enough. Aren't they lucky to be able to carry on with their lives and don't know the pain of this grief.
We had a lovely normal life until this evil disease stole my husband from me. My dad also died from cancer in 2020. It's just too much.
I'm feeling so low and feel hopeless. I'm shocked at feeling sometimes that I would rather not be here anymore.
I speak to a counsellor once a week. The problem is there's no solution. He's never coming home.
We don't have children. We have a lovely dog. If it wasn't for him, I don't think I'd still be here.
I have anxiety as well as unbearable sadness. I'm so changed. Before, I coped with everything. Now, I cry and panic every day and night. The gp has prescribed anti depressants but I'm frightened to take them. I'm frightened of life and the future. Living hour by hour feels so hopeless.
Our future has been stolen. He was so young and strong. Then so quickly, he is dead. How can it be real? How am I supposed to live with this pain?
Sorry for such a long post x
Hello
As WDJ has already said no need to worry about your lengthy post. I didn't find it so. Just heartbreaking
The tragic loss of your young husband is truly sad. My little cat Missy is what kept me going after my Barry died nearly a year ago now.
Animals pick up our feelings I think, and are aware more than some people are !! Very true about friends and family not understanding and keeping away. Hurtful though. I have however found out who are the true ones and have stayed the course with me. It only takes one or two.
What can I say ? No platitudes just genuine concern for you and the lovely dog.
Keep posting here, it does help.
Hugs.
