Today is the 5th Anniversary of my husbands passing. Rob was diagnosed with Adrenal cancer which has no positive treatment. He was given a drug which has such strong side effects that nobody had managed to get to the dosage which was predicted to make an impact on the cancer.
He also always proactive, wanting to know all about his care plan, speaking with the consultants while I was like a rabbit caught in headlights. Unable to comprehend that this was our new life! The day he was given his terminal diagnosis we drove away from the hospital and straight to our 2 sons school. My husband wanted to speak to their Head Teacher and make sure their would be guidance and help for our sons. He was so compassionate, kind and thoughtful. He then organised for a solicitor to write his will, power of attorney, DNR order. All things I had no idea about. I felt so useless, sitting listening to him pass on his devastating news but his ability to be thinking of us his family and making sure we were provided for.
The stream of visitors from friends, family and health care professionals coming through our door was constant and he did he best to make them feel comfortable always down playing his position.
When he went into the hospice he finally cried. He knew this was the end. He asked me and his 3 children to be present for his death but as his condition spread to his lungs he wanted to spare our youngest incase the equipment and noise frightened him. He died at 2.17 in the morning and I and our 2 older children were present. In the end it was peaceful.
He was only 47, and his journey with cancer lasted a quick painful 3 months. Our children were 21, 18 and 12.
I miss him every single day, I am so sad for everything he has missed, for our future we won't get. But I am so proud of myself and our children. They amaze me and our sons are so like their Dad. He has influenced them in such a positive way.
I will be forever thankful for the 19 years we shared, I just wish it had been much longer.
