Its almost 6 months since my Andy passed away and I feel I'm re-living it all again at the moment as I'm trying to support my friend who's elderly Dad has just this afternoon been put on the 'just in case' meds.
My friend was with me & Andy right up until the end and even supported me straight after Andy passed away, contacting the funeral directors etc.
I'm just trying to listen to her and not compare my Andy to her Dad's situation (my Andy was 53, her Dad is 86) She is telling me every minute detail, saying how she wishes he would just let go now and slip away.
I'm finding it so hard to listen to her as its emotionally breaking me. When I come off the phone or when i see my phone flash with another message to update me how he is doing. I want to support her and be there for her but gawd this is hard as its so raw and I'm living Andy's last few hours again and again after he had 'just in case' meds administered he slipped away within 45 minutes, that's what she told me she is hoping for her Dad! (I wished I had Andy longer than the 45 minutes but he decided the time to go!)
I just can't tell her how I'm feeling, It's breaking me and emotionally draining me, I can't sleep as I'm forever checking my pone in case she needs me but I have to try to stay strong for her and be there for her and her elderly Mum as they know I understand what they are going through.
What else can I do, if anything to support them all apart from just be a big pair of ears and shoulders to cry on as they have been for me. My friends Husband can't support her much as he is finding it too upsetting to cope with.
Big love too all of you going through this journey, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy
xxx
