Tomorrow 25/03 marks one year since my beloved husband took his last breath. The longest time I’ve been alone in our 48 years together. I’ve been torturing myself over the last few days thinking about what was happening this time last year. I even read through his medical notes and noted the exact time the syringe driver went in , which really was the beginning of the end. I know he was more comfortable and in less pain but it makes my heart hurt thinking that this hastened his death. I feel just as broken and alone as I did at the beginning. People think I’m ‘ over it’ I will never be over it. I miss him so very much. Time hasn’t healed. Even now it doesn’t seem real. I suppose in time I will come to terms with him never coming back but I still feel the need to talk to him and hold his hand. X
