It's been a while since I came on the site but I've been catching up on some of your Posts. Sorry to see so many new names have joined the group... Sorry, because that means so many loved ones have passed away.
For me, I have passed the two year anniversary, having lost my beloved husband when he was just 54. Diagnosed New Years Eve and despite promises of treatment by his oncologist... That rapidly fell by the wayside as the country went into Lockdown!! He died just nine months later. The pandemic robbed us both of normal cancer treatment, care, and support medical, practical and emotional.
I went through grief and anger ... And yes guilt. All feelings that have remained these past couple of years.
Friends who had initially promised so much simply stopped ringing, Even family members who change the subject if I mention his name. Do they really believe that time passing means we have forgotten our loved one. Grief never stops! Yes, it eases so that you don't cry at the merest hint of a memory and time teaches you the skill to hide your grief. To act like everything is fine when inside you feel an emotional wreck.
All I can advise to you who are still in the depths of raw grief and anguish ... go at your own pace, do not be rushed into feeling a failure when others suggest you "should be getting over it" You will never be the same again. Be kind to yourself as you try to make a new life to face your future. Remember your loved one but continue to strive to create a future as I'm sure your partner would wish you to do.
My condolences and virtual hugs to you all
Mym x
