I feel so ill and anxious

Leisureartist,

Oh my, that sounds awful. Stay strong - it's all we can try and do. Easy to say, I know.

I know that this will not really help you but, on this occasion, you have provided the opportunity for me to share one of my ever lasting memories. I hope this story comes across in the manner it is intended - to bring a bit of a smile on our forum which doesn't always happen.

I have always suffered from vertigo: open staircases, going down escalators, lifts with glass looking at views, etc.

But the everlasting memory is being with my wife and visiting a well known visitor attraction. Well, the stairs were on the outside of the building and when coming back down I had to come down on my backside step by step. She was in hysterics. It still brings a smile to me now writing this.

I still have my issues with it. Escalators, any heights - and ladders! It's not an easy thing once you start experiencing it.

Keep going. I'm sure it's 'just' another of those things that we may experience in our situation.

Take care,

WDJ

Thank you.

I guess that's it's when we can look back at a worse situation that we know we are moving forward. I will continue to fight my demons 

Hi

Vertigo seems like a logical thing to get when the rug has been pulled out from under you (ie. Suffering the loss of your husband). I feel sure it is connected to your grief in some way and hope with the passage of time it will resolve itself for you.  In my early twenties I had a breakdown and became agoraphobic (ie. Fear of going out).  One thing that really helped me was a book ‘Self help for your nerves’ by Claire Weekes, 

The crux of it was that we have to mentally accept all these feelings including feeling ill with grief - rather than trying to fight against them or becoming frightened of them - which just takes more energy and makes them worse.  Hang in there.

Thank you, I will look up the book.