Everything sets me off

Dru

i am very similar situation - my Claire passed just over 6 weeks ago and I get set off very easily too. I think it’s going to be like that for a long time as I go through every situation that we would have had together that is now just me. It’s so hard isn’t it

Claires ashes are at my mums house as I just thought I’d be too upset having them at home with me but that is my next step too - choosing a headstone and the words to put on it so we can have that place to go and visit her. 

take care x

I just keep getting told I can feel like this for up to two years and that the second year can be worse. 

I feel like I'm just taking and hour at a time at the moment. 

I know what you mean. Reading posts from those that are unfortunate enough to be in the same position can be a comfort but also can be upsetting when you hear how they are struggling after many years - it seems impossible to think you can carry on with your life when you think you will feel how you do right now for years to come. 

Taking it an hour or a day at a time is all we can do isn’t it - one moment I feel like I’m reasonably okay if I’m distracted but then the next moment the tears just come flooding out. I fear it will be that way for a long time 

This is it I have good intentions to get bits done, then I can't get motivated! 

I was thinking of returning to work but my support worker from the hospice said she doesn't think it's a good idea until I've had counselling.

Have you returned to work?

Not yet - I went in to my office on Monday just to have a chat about proposals for going back and I even just found that difficult. Just seeing all the people there just hit it home to me that I don’t want to be around any of them … I just want my Claire!

But they have been really supportive throughout everything and have told me there’s no pressure at all to go back, but I’ve said I’m going to try a phased return - 2 or 3 days a week - starting next week. I have worked from home since the pandemic so will just be continuing to do that as I couldn’t face going to work at the office … perhaps further down the line I may go in once a week but I think that’s a way off yet given how the emotions just come on at any time. 

obviously everyone is different and it will depend on what you’re line of work is, but for me I’m quite independent in my job role so don’t really need to communicate too much with people so I am just going to see how it goes. 

Take care 

Also I am exactly the same in terms of motivation - I keep thinking of things that I’m going to do but then just seem to spend the whole day in a daze just sitting on my sofa thinking about Claire. Only thing I’m really managing to do is take the dog out for a walk but even some days I can’t even bring myself to do that as the dog was Claire’s baby really and she loved to take her on walks together so it’s just another reminder of things that sets me off

I'm exactly the same, I think I only get up most days as I have to take the girls to school. I went and picked Ant's ashes up this afternoon, I think want sure how I was going to feel but I feel quite comforted by having him home.

I totally get why you wouldn't want to go into the office, I obviously don't know you personally but from your messages I have read it sounds like it would be too hard for you. (Hope you don't mind me saying that)