Christmas without a loved one

I want you to know your kind message has been seen. 

Christmas is very much just another day for me on my own. 

It will never be the day it was .

Blessings to you 

Cheers elltel lovely words thanks, same as wildcat says just another day ,second Christmas now without Lynne really hard but trying to get through it without having meltdown all the best     Terry 

Exactly how I have got through yesterday - just another day. Went for a long drive. Stopped a few times and just looked at my surroundings.

As expected, however, fell apart later during the evening when back in the house. Watched TV, listened to music which had meaning to us both. Just cried.

But we start again and go again.

Take care,

WDJ

Had Christmas lunch at a friends house but once back to an empty house, it doesn’t even feel like home anymore, the floodgates opened. Didn’t sleep a wink, again. I’m not lonely for other folks company, just his. People say it gets easier but at the moment I cannot see that happening. I feel what is the point of it all without my soulmate. And why even though he had been terminal for 3 years and bedridden for last 5 am in shock that he’s died? Anyway, I hope you all managed to get through Christmas the best you could. Take Care Terry.

Thank you Terry, those are lovely and encouraging words.

This was the second Christmas without Nic.  Last year was awful, but I wanted this year to be better and it was.  I cooked a dinner and enjoyed it and the day was ok.

In the background though is and was a massive sense of loneliness and loss.  It doesn't hit me badly very often, but today it has.  However, I'm now trying to look forward to the new year and what that might bring. Got lots to still sort out and I've got fire in my belly to do it so on I go.

Best wishes everyone.

Hi Hebe1, I have just seen your response to my post and i'm so glad for you that you managed to go to a friends home for lunch. Friends and a shoulder to lean on are what is needed. Unfortunately many friends think they are helping by saying "it will get easier, pull yourself together, you will get over it". That is not the case, we learn to live with it and that's when it feels easier and only those who have experienced the loss of a loved one can understand this. What is needed initially is a good listener, support and a shoulder to lean on. Nothing worse than returning to an empty house i know that but take each day as it comes. Do whatever you wish if it gives comfort, don't feel pressured into anything, move forward at your own pace. It is hard but people on this site will help and give support so do keep talking on here to those that understand. I wish you All The Best in The New Year.  

Hi nicsmrs, it is lovely to read your response and i am so glad you are moving forward in life. Yes there are many moments of loneliness and feelings of loss. This is only to be expected, part of grief, but you seem to have the right attitude. I wish you all the best in The New Year and the future and keep that fire burning in your belly.

Hi Terry.  I'm really trying to be positive as it's no good for me if I dwell on things all the time. 

I'm getting things done in the house and garden, but it's always with Nic looking over my shoulder and I feel guilty about doing things that I know he might not have agreed with.

However, I am where I am and have to build a new life for myself on my own. It will be 2 years on 1 February since Nic died and some feels it feels like yesterday.  So I take it day by day, good or bad.

Take care.

Felicity

Hi Wildcat, thank you for replying to my message. Your right in saying Christmas will never be the day it was, life itself will never be the same but there is a future for us all. It may take a long time, it may be quick. Everyone is different and will react and grieve in different ways but be positive, take each day as it comes, you can't imagine the future without your soulmate but you can move forward in life, learning to live without them as we, do so do not give up hope. 

Hi eltell12 

Thanks for the kind words. This week I have his birthday in a few days followed by the anniversary mid January so this is a particularly bad time for me. 

Not helped by normal things I go to being closed. 

I just take it day by day.