How do you cope with the loss?

Hi Deirdre. 

So sorry to hear about the loss of your husband. How I wish that we didn't find ourselves on this forum belonging to a group that none of us would wish to be a part of.

The support from others on here gives hope that we are not alone and there's always someone to reach out to when there seems to be no light in the darkest of days.

I too am finding it harder to cope at the moment. My husband, Chris, died on 10 October from lung cancer, only 25 days after diagnosis. He had just turned 59, and I'm 45. We had been together for 28 amazing years.

We didn't get a chance to sort things out as we tried to make the most of each day knowing that his time left was short. I didn't expect it to be only a few weeks though.

I'm not sure how to get to grips with it to be honest. I'm just taking things day by day - quite often just hour by hour.  I'm angry that my husband died, so sad that I'm all alone after sharing my life with such an amazing man, but also so lucky that he picked me to share his life and love with. 

I try to keep going by reminding myself he would be heartbroken to see me so sad.  The depth of my grief shows how much he was loved.  

Hi Deidre.  I'm so sorry that you find yourself here.  I'm 22 months into this journey.  I've been and am still going through all the the feelings you describe.  For me, the best way to deal with this has been to take each day as it comes.  If it's bad then it's bad and you trawl your way through to bedtime and hopefully you'll sleep.  If it's good, then great and don't feel guilty about it.  Given time, things have got a lot better.  I have good, bad and really bad days, but I know I'm moving forward.

Nic and I also had many unresolved loose ends.

I've learned not to put pressure on myself to do anything that doesn't feel right or isn't what I want or need to do.  

Please try to take time to look after you.  It might seem a bit meaningless, but just a walk round a garden centre or the shops takes your mind off things for a while and you might smile if good memories are remembered.

Please stay in touch here.  It is a fabulous source of support and a space where we can say whatever we need to.

Best wishes.