My husband died

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Well I never ever thought I’d be writing this.

I am 35 years old and have multiple myeloma, on the 10th November I came out of hospital after having my stem cell transplant

Not even 4 days later on 14th November my wonderful and beautiful fit and healthy 38 year old husband collapsed on the bathroom floor and died

I just don’t know what I am meant to do, I have no joy for Xmas, a post mortem has been done with no findings for the reason of his death.

We were a team he was a my soul mate he supported me through every step of my journey and now I just want to quit.

We don’t have children but have embryos frozen, I feel at a complete loss without him. It’s 3 weeks tomorrow since he passed.

I was here when it happened I performed CPR and the hospital worked on him for 40 minutes but it wasn’t enough

I feel like I should have been able to bring him back and I couldn’t

How do I even start to process this?

CazF over 2 years ago

I have no words.

I lost my father last week. I take comfort in the idea he is sending me little signs but the pain is unbearable.

Take it one hour at a time.

Sending love x

PBD7 over 2 years ago

Im so so sorry for you and your loss. I had a similar experience when I lost my mum so completely understand your shock and pain.

You won't process it for a while, as for Xmas I don't even have words for you other than you absolutely did what you could. I'm sorry..

Do you have any support? My words probably aren't much comfort as I'm a mess myself but I just wanted to say something.

Here to talk when you need. Rest if you can and take it minute by minute however you need to.

Sending love and strength x

Leehebs over 2 years ago

What can anyone say to your post. Here is my try, grieve, cry, as I am sure you are I did for months and even now four, years later it hurts. But what would your husband say to you, I can only repeat what my wife of 30 years said to me, LIVE, do you honestly think he would wish for you to be miserable, we need to live to keep them alive. I talk to my daughters about their mum , I talk to my new partner about Adele , we , I celebrate a life that although cut short was worth living. As is yours, live it.

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My husband died