My husband died last week

How awful. I feel woefully inadequate about how to respond. What an awful thing to happen and so suddenly with no time to prepare. I am so sorry. Poor man. Poor you. God bless. 

So so sorry.

We are here for you. Take your time.

Take care.

Hugs 

Hi,

Sorry that you find yourself here. I hope I can offer you some hope for the future.

My husband died, also of lung cancer, almost five years ago, also quite shortly after diagnosis. I occasionally come back to this site to offer some encouragement if I can.

I well remember the first few days, weeks and months. I felt sad, scared, and just didn't know how I was ever going to cope. We had just celebrated our 35th wedding anniversary 10 days before he died.

Well, nearly five years on, I can honestly say I'm ok. I have got used to living alone, and have managed to cope with things in the home, plumbers, electricians etc etc. I was terrified of those sort of things in the beginning. I've learned to go out on my own, even have lunch out. I suppose I'm learning to enjoy my own company,. I don't feel quite as reliant on friends as I first did.

Of course, I still miss my husband, but the pain isn't there anymore. I've had some difficult times and have had some help with anxiety, which I suffered with for many years, but it got worse after losing my husband. That helped a lot.

I would say just take your time. Try not to look too far ahead. I'm sure you will cope, but in the beginning it's almost impossible to imagine. I found this online community very helpful, hope you will too.

Sending you a big hug x

LonelyPanda,

There is nothing but support for you on here. It is one of the few places where you will find those who really understand how you feel.

Take care,

WDJ

I'm in the same position as you. My husband of 17 years (together for 20) died on 11th Oct...a day I will hate for the rest of my life. We had both just had our birthdays in Sept, he just turned 49, me, 46. If anyone had ever told me I'd be a widow at this age, I would've laughed at them! I am ill equipped for this journey but I have amazing support from family and friends. My philosophy is to get up in the morning and just make it through the day. If I can do that, I'm fighting half the battle. I feel empty,  lost, and the grief pain I get that comes in waves, actually physically hurts me. No one I know gets what I'm going through. I know if things were the other way round, he'd be the same, as we were, and always will be, soulmates xx

Hello 

Just wanted to let you know I totally understand how you are feeling. So sorry for your loss. It does physically hurt doesn't it? I went out last night to a local event, the first in many months. Surrounded by many people that I know, but so difficult. Felt very alone. Had to escape! Back to the empty house, but had left lights on, and the sweet little face of my cat Missy, cheered me up a little. Small steps each day? 

I found getting up this morning a chore, but just took my time.

Take care of yourself. Keep posting on this! 

Hugs 

I totally get you.  My 2 older children are in the house and that's a massive help but I'm also struggling with social events. People think they're doing you a favour "getting you out the house" but it doesn't always work that way does it? Baby steps is the best way to go xx

I am really struggling today. I made myself get out of bed as I could hear my husband's voice in my head asking to keep pushing through for him. I had a friend round earlier but now I'm sat here trying to eat some food to keep my strength up but I feel so sad, scared and missing my Chris so much.

It's so unfair that such a wonderful man with a big heart filled with love has died. It's as if something decided that our life together was too good.

The funeral is this coming Friday 28th Oct and I'll honour my Chris and know that he would be proud, as he always was of everything I did, but the thought of saying bye until we meet again is tearing me apart.

Oh my word Lonelypanda. I've had a struggle day today too. So has my sister in law. Not only did she lose my husband, her little brother, but she'd lost her own husband a matter of weeks before. We had a cry on each others shoulders.  But still, I just could not see a way forward today. Like walking through quicksand and sinking as you try to move. I try to put a brave face on in front of people so they don't feel awkward around me, but once indoors, I just could not stop the tears. As for the goodbye, well my husband wanted a direct cremation , so that's what I booked. He's spared me and the kids from going through that , I just wish we could've been spared all this stupid pain at our age. Life just isn't fair and I'm not a big fan of it anymore on my own xxx

It is the most traumatic thing to go through. My husband died ten days ago, and his wake will be on 28th. I am either crying or feeling very frightened. Friends are amazing, but it hurts non stop. I am sorry for everyone who finds themselves here.Love to you all