Hi everyone
Its nice to be a part of this group and read about other peoples experiences with grief.
I went on a holiday with my 20 month year old son, to visit my family back home. I tried to convince my husband to join us but he insisted that he was busy with work and could not spare 2 weeks.
He passed away only 2 days before my scheduled flight home.
He had driven to Manchester over the Easter holiday weekend to visit his sister. He had an unexplainable car accident on his way home and instantly passed away.
I remember being on the phone with his sister being worried sick as his phone was switched off, knowing him, he would never let his phone go out of charge. I knew something was wrong.
Within an hour his sister got the news. My life completely changed. its crazy.
Its been 6 months now, and what a foggy Journey it has been.
I had days where it was like I was paralyzed, I had days where I could not control my emotions. Emotions of anger, frustration, and overwhelming sadness.
I had good days where I was able to feel like a normal human, taking care of my son, being productive and feeling generally ok.
After months of grief, I realized I have a mission in life, that mission was to raise a righteous son so that his dad could look down on him and feel proud. That's the moment things started to get a little better.
I miss him so much it hurts, that squeezing pain in your heart will never go away, and I often question myself if I would ever be happy again.
Breaks my heart that our son will never know what an amazing father he once had.
My past life just feels like a dream now, I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing.
Thank you for reading
Nashwa
