I feel so lost

Oh Cath,

I am so sorry, can't write much, but need to say "bathroom floor". Not told many people about the way I found Rob. But I still relive it after 19 months. It's the thing, only me knows as I was on my own and sharing it with his mother ect won't do them any good, so it's my memory only.

Love 

Donna

I am so so sorry for your loss - Cancer is such a roller coaster of emotions and I can’t begin to imagine your loss, losing anyone is beyond comprehension and to have this happen so suddenly must be so tough.  I hope you have some good support around you.  I have a friend who’s husband died very suddenly at home and like you she has flashbacks to finding him but found some good support through her GP who has helped enormously so don’t forget to reach out if you feel the additional support would help.  I know it won’t help for everyone but my friend found it helpful for birthdays and anniversaries to do a little memorial with candles and past cards but it’s a completely individual thing of what ever helps on any given day - try and be gentle with yourself and I’m sure there will be other folks along to give some other thoughts for you xx 

That must be hard having as a memory only you know.  I was fortunate in someways as a neighbour helped but my John never regained consciousness and passed away in hospital.  I don’t understand how one minute we could be watching tv and the next this happened.  They said his cancer was “curable”  We had only been together not quite 15 years, we had so much more to do.  I was going to retire early and just be together, he was my entire world.  How do you manage? 

Catht and ChilliChilli,

This is just something else. The bathroom is the room I have most difficulty going into. The number of evenings my wife spent lying on the floor and the very last night she was in the house was just awful in there. I haven't shared that with anyone. It's the one room I'd demolish if I could!

WDJ