It is almost three years since I lost my partner. It has destroyed me. I cry every day. Sometimes I cry all day, like yesterday and now today here writing this. I keep telling myself he wouldn't want me to feel like this, and since I am left here I may as well make the best of things. Perhaps one day we'll be together again. I've taken all the practical steps and tried to make a new life for myself. Time and time again I keep trying to pick myself up, accept the situation, and move forward. But life is empty now. I spend the hours, days, weeks and months just going to work and coming home and doing the same old things. I'm sick of it all. None of it has any meaning for me anymore. I do things out of necessity, distraction and to try to comfort myself. I'm just spending the time and waiting. I've felt the guilt for feeling this way; told myself I am selfish and basically to pull myself together and get on with my life. It doesn't work. Life had meaning when he was part of it and we shared our lives. There is so much in the world that is good and beautiful, but without my partner I've lost interest in life. I don't care if this is 'normal' or 'abnormal'; it is how I feel. Of course, I have depression.
I'm sorry if this sounds angry. It is because the anniversary of what happened has come up again. It's in the back of my mind: this time three years ago this was happening, and this happened, and so on. I don't know how much more of this I can take. Isn't it is better to live fully than to endure?
Good Morning .
I'm sorry for your loss, I know it's not easy at all. If you allow me, I would like to tell you a little about what I'm experiencing, maybe I can help in some way. 4 weeks ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer, it had a great impact on me, it made me extremely sad, but my sadness was not for the diagnosis but for everything that I stopped living with my family for clinging to small things. there was a movie in my head about everything I didn't live and enjoy with my damilia, I have two beautiful daughters and one is still small, I suffered a lot more for thinking about everything I could have enjoyed with them before with the diagnosis I received . I can tell you, happiness is for today and not for later, we need to learn to enjoy every moment that God gives us because life is very good indeed. something that helped me a lot and continues to help me and my faith in God, he has sustained me and given me strength every day, I can tell you that he has been a great friend, he made me see in this difficult time the gift of living and fight for life , I am closer to him now , I read the bible , pray , talk to him and this has made me strong and thirsty to live and enjoy every moment with my family . I know his partner would tell you to live to the full even if it's not easy. Seek help from the God who made everything and try to be intimate with him, you will have the strength to get out of this situation and return to live your life to the fullest. Believe God has the power to heal any wound. because we can do everything in him who strengthens us! Hope this helps. sorry if I didn't write it right, my english is not very good 
Hello Greice,
Thank you for your encouragement. I'm sorry for your recent diagnosis and I hope you feel better and recover soon.
Dunlin.
Dunlin
