September is an awful month for me.
It's our wedding anniversary on 10th, our sons Birthday on 19th and my husbands on the 22nd.
This is my 5th anniversary without my husband, and our wedding day was amazing and of course I have happy memories and lots of photos. Last year nobody called or messaged on our anniversary.
Tonight my mums just rung to say she won't be sending a card again as it makes her too sad to get a happy card when she feels so sad for me. I pointed out that it was a happy day and even just call me to chat as it honestly feels like Rob never existed as I am never allowed to express my feelings of loneliness or sadness and she said well we know and we are sad and think about you but don't like to mention Rob!!! I said but I have to hold it together for our sons and I want to talk about my grief and she changed the subject.
So yes thanks mum
I’m so sorry that you are not getting the support that you need from your Mum. I think others just don’t have a clue what a lonely isolated place we are in. Not talking about it just makes it all worse.
I am lucky that all of our family still talk about Dave but is still don’t think they get how hard it is - and don’t even get me started in the ones that compare it to splitting with a partner 
Fortunately i have one person that I speak to (mainly messages but still) most days about Dave. She’s Dave niece (more like brother and sister they were so close ) but also a childhood friend of mine (she introduced me and Dave) I’m not sure how I’d get through this without her as I know I can be honest with her about how I feel.
On another note - I still bought Dave a birthday card and anniversary card. It made me feel better to be able to acknowledge they were special days - and I write a lot in them as if I was talking to Dave. Maybe you already do this but just a suggestion if not
I know we didn’t know Rob but anytime you feel you need to talk I’m sure there will be plenty on here willing to listen
Sending hugs your way
Jillian
