I talk to my children a lot about how I feel and how I need to see them, haven’t seen two of my grandchildren for ages, what really hurts, is that if Linda had still been here, they would have been visiting every week, the most two weeks, or invited her (us) over, even taken her on holidays, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, the wrong person died. Now it’s just me, that kind of attention doesn’t matter anymore, I can see why children put their parents in old peoples homes, then no need to worry ( that’s if they do anyway) because all my ‘needs’ would be taken care of, wouldn’t be too much different than being at home really, except be in a room full of strangers watching TV, except I wouldn’t be able to chose. When my father and mother in law were in a home, they sued to put Mama Mia video on, every day almost all day…..OMG…..my daughter just told me, I need to find some hobbies or meet people or or or etc…..what I need, what I really need is my family, my brothers and sisters drifted apart from me 15 years ago, no friends, just my PC and TV…..So I need my children grandchildren and one great grand child, there is one other person, Linda’s son by her 2nd marriage, used to visit quite often when Linda was here, but since she passed nothing, just reinforces how much I am needed or thought about.
wallowing in a bit of self pity, but I do feel abandoned, can’t help wondering if they would realise if I was there anymore 
need to go now, think Mama Mia is on TV 
This made me smile a little, my late husband and I both loved Mama Mia with its feel good-sing along vibes although watching it once a year would be enough! But yes, I get the loneliness and the need to see family …. I have to keep reminding myself that they have busy lives (like ours used to be), but I am very fortunate to have them living just a 20 minute drive away and I know my son would be here very quickly if I had an emergency situation.
It’s easy to forget that I have siblings, my oldest brother lives in Australia and my sister in Spain. I also have a brother living locally but seldom see him as he is wrapped up with his own children, grandchildren etc., I don’t blame him because I wonder if I would have been the same if the situation was the other way round, because you really don’t understand until it happens to you.
I’ve managed to pull myself out of a recent very depressed state, and I’ve done/continue to do a good deal of ‘wallowing’ too. think that these ‘ups and downs’ are pretty common for people in our situation. All I can say is, go and watch Mama Mia, in fact I might do that myself 
Thanks for listening, you are right, no one can truly understand until they experience it
take care
Linda You are my best memory, You are all of my best memories
Hi
i partly agree, but it is socialising that helps me, the closer the contact the better, texts are ok, phone calls are better, but face to face is what helps me. My eldest daughter said that I should join clubs get more hobbies etc, as I said they just don’t get it, they get get upset they cry and have bad days, but every day is a bad day for me, I only stop hurting when I’m sleeping. I still can’t face socialising with strangers, I hope the counselling I should be starting soon will help. Every day, all I day, I could just cry so easily, have to keep distracting my self. Never used be like this a year ago. I hate being like this, I told my kids, it’s not hobbies I need it’s family.
I have recently reconnected on FB with my younger sister, lost contact for 16 years, I so hope we can eventually catch up and I can be her big brother again.
take care
Linda You are my best memory, You are all of my best memories
You are so right Jayne, I was not prepared for this, in my wildest dreams, I knew it would be tough, but not like this.
Take care.
Linda You are my best memory, You are all of my best memories
