My darling husband lost his battle with renal cell carcinoma on 23 July. He’d been in hospital for almost three weeks and was transferred to the local Hospice just one day before he died. I and one of our daughters saw him settled in and I told him I would see the the next morning. Little did I realise that would be the last time I would speak to him. I received a call early the next morning to say he had become really unwell. The family were all allowed to be with him and he passed peacefully a few hours later.
To say I am devastated is an understatement. I know it is early days but I’m finding my emotions and feelings very strange. Most of the time i carry on as though it hasn't happened but then it will suddenly hit me, like this evening when I cannot stop crying. I am very lucky in that I have three children living nearby and they have been wonderful, as have our older grandchildren.
I know he was very depressed because he had lost all mobility in the last few weeks and was also having pain and I wouldn’t want him back to suffer as he did. However, we would have been married 52 years in September and were so lucky to have had a very happy marriage. He was my best friend and until the cancer took hold, he was my rock and a very hard working and loving man.
i have good friends as well as a supportive family but it is just not the same without him. The future looks very bleak and the pain is so hard to bear. Everything seems so surreal and I cannot accept that he has gone. I just felt tonight I had to express how I feel though I can hardly see to type through my tears.
