My wife’s family are unbelievably good to me, as are my dad and step mum.
I live in England but I’m from Northern Ireland. I love my mum and I take care of her from afar, paying bills etc. I have a sister who lives with her but has some issues and a brother who has not got any sense of humility or compassion. Our mum was rushed into hospital over a week ago with severe pain and they assumed it was a bowel infection. It wasn’t. It turns out she has advanced cancer in her bowel, liver and lungs that we know of. I jumped in my van and drove 500 miles and a ferry to be there. They were sorting out a plan for possible treatment but it was unlikely and she caught Covid. Unfortunately this is taking a huge toll on her lungs and it’s touch and go. I’m here by her hospital bed in PPE and my brother thinks by us being there it’ll scare her and is very annoyed that I’ve made the decision to be by her side. I’ve been here two days, missed my uncles funeral today as she took a turn for the worse.
So far I’ve had my brother tell me that I “don’t understand” what HE’s going through, he’s NOK so is making decisions on what’s “right for her” and that he thinks im a know it all. Not once has he recognised my loss only 15 months ago (today) and is nowhere to be seen. He is making this all very difficult, twisting text messages into something they’re not. I don’t know if I can cope with him.
Hello
its so unfair, you certainly don’t need any conflict at such a difficult time. I really am at a loss regarding your Brother, I hope he realises what you are doing is out of your love for your Mother. It could simply be he can’t cope emotionally and lashes out as an (incorrect) response. My family were quite close until my Mother passed, there were some heated words, some about her possessions, since then I have not seen any of my brothers or sisters, I actually found out by accident that one of my sisters had passed away from cancer. I so want to be in contact with my other 3 siblings, but it seems that they don’t want to know. So I do know how difficult family can be, doesn’t make it any easier though.
thinking of you
Linda You are my best memory, You are all of my best memories
