Sometimes wonder if I’ll ever feel anything like normal again. I get quite excited when I heard my wife’s family talking about a holiday, never thought I could feel like that, but they have a limit on numbers so I wouldn’t be able to go, it had been arranged for some time. I asked one of my children that my wife and I had been holiday with before, if I could go on holiday with them, but suggested that I go on trips with the church etc with people of my age group 
I said I could pay towards a holiday with them, if that helped, but said want to spend their money on their house so unlikely a holiday next year.
I said I prefer family, as answering questions to strangers is not going to be comfortable, said when you’re ready hopefully something will come along 
I said but I feel ready now, but have no idea how. It’s frightening how I could feel so positive, now I’m in total despair again.
My life ended when Linda’s did, I just have to accept it 
Shouldn’t try to have positive thoughts because when it doesn’t work I feel worse than before
Acceptance is the solution I think
Sorry, I’m trying to have positive thoughts and move forward, but not having any success, maybe it’s time to accept this is my life from now on
Just can’t stop crying, it all,seems so pointless 
My Eldest Daughter visited with my Great Grand daughter today, was so lovely, she’s slowly getting used to me, although we don’t see each other much but still felt a terrible deep sadness, that’s enveloped me for the past few days, after they left I just started sobbing, like I was months ago, really thought I was getting stronger. Have emailed the local hospice to get some grief counselling, have to do something to help
Linda You are my best memory, You are all of my best memories
Hi ArthurD
I feel for you, l do not think that there is a wrong or a right way of doing things. I personally feel that we just have to do what makes us at ease with our decisions. I also have been thinking about a holiday next year with my son and his family. But in the next breath l feel that l cannot do anything anymore because Pete is not with me
.I also feel that it is good to have a mixture of different ages around us, as their conversations can be unpredictable and help take, our minds of, off thinking if only for a little while..
.
I also understand things feeling pointless and crying, it seems to be getting worse for me, all l want is to be with Pete.
Dear ArthurD
Nurture that little glimmer of positivity and find a holiday and go for it.
try not to ‘ talk yourself out of it ‘ if you possibly can.
Harsh as it sounds, your family might be struggling to be around your grief as it leaves them feeling useless and sad for you.
I know that as I started feeling better years ago when I lost someone very close, people began to invite me along again and in turn I began feeling better. It was a circle 
️ of improvement in my ability to connect back into the world.
I also went away on my own on purpose so I didn’t have to be defined as a bereaved person. It was liberating.
All my very best wishes to you.
M
Bless you, l know what you are saying and l know exactly how you feel as many of us on here does. I often wonder how my mum survived after loosing my dad. But then again she has 5 younger children to look after, my mum was with my dad about 19 years when he died, l was with Pete for nearly 49 years. But regardless of time them not being here is unbearable, and even thinking of doing something without them is Not really real: if you get what l mean.
I certainly do get what you mean, in almost everything I do I often cry because I am eating alone, we shared everything.
yes unbearable is definitely the word
Linda You are my best memory, You are all of my best memories
