Loss of my wife

Andrew b,

I have a few months to go until I face this day. I'm going to use the cliché of think about all the memories and accept the tears when they come too.

I suspect this day will be very much one of ups and downs.

WDJ

Hello Andrew b, my wedding anniversary was on Thursday, the first one without Lin. It would have been our 43rd and I was really dreading it. My son invited me to go to watch cricket that day at The Oval and I accepted as I know that Lin would have wanted me to do this. I accepted this offer but we missed the start of play as I had to go to the church where Lin's remains are interred. I needed to talk to her and tell her how much I miss her and, though it was upsetting, having something to focus on did help me get through the day. But I did find myself thinking about LIn quite a bit during the game, so it was hard to concentrate. Still taking one day at a time but feel that I am moving forward with my life but it's a slow and hard journey. Life seems so empty without her and I can't believe it is now 8 months since Lin died. I still wake up in the mornings and wish she was there beside me. It is good to have family, I see my son, daughter and grandchildren regularly but it only softens that sense of loss when I see them.

Stay strong.

Derek

My anniversary was on Saturday at my stepsons they made try and concentrate on other things we went shopping first then to a football match local to them ,I was doing OK we went out for a meal to a local Greek restaurant  which was great but it was when we were sitting around the housevi started to cry a lot my grandchild came over to me and gave me a cuddle she asked what wrong i said i miss my wife she said she is dead,she is only 3 after a few more tears I said I need to try and talk to the family with it did I miss her and love her 

Hi Derek, it's our wedding anniversary tomorrow would have been 36 years - I don't know what I'll do or how I'll cope with the day  not very well I imagine. So many firsts to get through yet. My husband died 8 weeks ago and it's so hard getting through the days - you can't imagine missing someone so much can you till it happens to you ?

Hi BetrayedandBroken, so sorry you have had to join this community. After living with, and loving, someone so close to us it tears our lives apart to lose them. I hope you can get through tomorrow and try and find something to occupy some of your time, it will help a little. On our anniversary last Thursday I seemed to cope better than I thought I would but 4 days later and I felt really down, thinking about how I miss LIn. I had a good cry and felt a bit better afterwards. The grief resurfaces in waves triggered by small things, today's I think may have been a TV advert for Celebrity Masterchef, a programme that Lin loved. She was such an accomplished cook.

I know what you mean about missing someone so much. I never thought I could feel such an intense sense of loss as I have these past months.

Stay strong tomorrow but don't hold in your emotions. It is much better to let the grief out.

Thank you  - I'll try and  get through the day the best I can, we have no choice do we ?

I still find it hard to do things that we both loved doing together, I am just taking a day at a time I loved Jean and miss her

Me too, you don't realise how much it physically hurts to miss someone so much till it happens to you do you ? So hard to get through every day in one piece holding it together if we can ? More often than not, we can't  ....

Hi, you’re right, sometimes I have no idea what triggers the tears.  It would have been Robs 55th birthday last Wednesday, , yesterday 1 year ago we were told he had weeks to live and so Aug 21 is 1 year.  I go through stages of being OKayish but then something happens and it all feels pointless again without him by my side.

today is not a good day for some reason, my daughter stayed overnight, we had a good morning and now I just feel so tearful again. 

let’s hope tomorrow is a better day 

At the moment  any little things  triggers me crying  I met friends on Friday for drinks I don't usually drink beer I ended up have 6 pints and when I got home.e I went in the rum and had a cry ,we re talking about my wife Jean in the pub I know I was starting to feel a bit so I had say i needed to leave and go home I've got family  voting down 2 weeks time and I'm off up north week after go he I miss them all and miss my love