How to go on?

I am sorry for the loss of Steve, it is such a visceral pain. I go over the last days for Rob again and again and wish something could be different. It is 7 weeks since he died, I can’t quite believe I have lived 7 weeks without him.

one hour at a time. Sending love ️ 

Lost and Gizzy69,

It;s been 6 weeks today for me since I lost my wife and I feel the same. We are going to feel like this for a very long time.

We need to try and be as strong as we can. Easy to say, and type, but not so easy to do!

Take care.

WDJ

I feel for you in your loss. It does seem as though the feeling of pointlessness and loss will go on for quite a long time, as I am still getting these feelings 7 months from when my Lin died. I have been having weekly bereavement counselling for several months and I find it a great help but it is going to go to fortnightly sessions after next week, so will have to see how that goes. I went to a local bereavement café this week and found that quite beneficial as it was just a group of bereaved people chatting about their loved ones they had lost and how they feel and cope, etc. Somehow, and I know this seems odd, it felt a bit uplifting in a way.

My advice is to get whatever support you can get but only when you're ready to do so.

Stay strong.

Derek

Today marks 20 months since I lost Chris. I can’t believe that I’ve got this far without my rock by my side but I have. I still miss him so much that it hurts but somehow I get through the days and the nights too. I have days when I don’t want to do much but I decided some time ago that I wasn’t going to worry about that- it’s part of my grieving process. What I still can’t believe is how exhausting the process is- not just the physical ‘running the house on my own’ but the getting up and facing the world, doing the things Chris would want me to keep doing. How I wish things were different, don’t we all? But I have been blessed with some truly wonderful friends and our boys are such supportive young men and for that, I try very hard to be grateful. 
So my feeling is that be kind to yourself, take each day ( or each hour if that works better for you) as it comes. And use this site- it’s full of folk, who sadly, get it

Take care, stay safe

x

You are so right, it’s the having to make decisions on your own and getting on with our new life without the support of our partner to talk over with.

I have an amazing daughter and we have grown so much more close since Rob died 10 months ago, she was such a daddies girl.

I find that when friends ask how I am I just say I’m OK, not always true.  My daughter said about father’s day last year which was the last time we went out as a family.  we were waiting for Robs chemo to start and he was so unwell but wanted to have a family meal even though he ate very little. It was the last family outing we had.

Everyday is painful still but nothing is going to bring Rob back and it’s a case of doing my best to continue my life as he wanted me too.

Take care everybody today.

Love is eternal

xx