agreement with all posts in this group

Hello Suz, I can sympathize with you, as a couple one has friends but so often when a partner has passed and we are left alone i feel we are viewed differently, perhaps other couples feel awkward or we are felt to be a threat. Whatever it is other couples who are friends seem to withdraw. I myself have experienced this. Please don't give up though, you are doing the right thing by being active, be strong, keep talking within this group and you will be supported by it's members. It can and is hard but use us as a shoulder to lean on. Please don't worry about crying, we all cry, let it go, you will feel better. My sister in law broke down on Sunday, crying and breaking her heart, she was so embarrassed at the time but most understood and felt for her, and on here we all understand as we have all been there. Keep talking to us. God Bless.  Terry.   

Hi Terry

I had heard that sometimes couple friends drift away and thought it very strange, but as you say, since my husband died I suppose some people feel awkward or threatened by my new status.  I am crying again as I type this for the loss of my husband and the loss of friends.  I know everyone's life has changed because of covid but, just a little familiarity sometimes helps. Not always as I have been to places where we used to go and kept expecting my husband to walk in.  Thankyou for the kind words

Hello Suz

i’m so sorry you’re hurting, it may ease occasionally, but doesn’t leave us for long at a time. I have thought about groups, but Covid scares me, just don’t know the answer, luckily I’m not really ready to ‘ venture out’ I drove to the supermarket this morning and felt really anxious during the 5 minute drive, sat for a few minutes in the car park to relax. I had something similar but worse happen to me some years ago, when helping friends move home, I had a severe anxiety attack ( but at the time didn’t know what it was) really thought I was dying, tried to think how to send last messages to loved ones, couldn’t think how to drive , where I was, I just pulled in somewhere and people came to help me. I never want to experience that again, but when i get anxious like that it scares me. We are so fragile really

you are having positive thoughts, so you should be proud, it’s not easy, it really is a day at a time and tiny little steps, that’s what I get told, think it’s true anyway.

which groups have you joined ?

take care of yourself

Thanks for kind words .  I have only joined this group  on here. Don't know if you've heard of U3A it's university of the third age for over 50's I think who have retired. We have two in our area, they have various groups  For example walking crochet history quilting various others you can also set up a group if you have a particular interest.  It's only once a month but some of the groups have days out to places of interest too. I'm going to try it anyway, even though i'll probably be anxious about going.  I have to go find some ear plugs as I am going to see my son play tonight in a black metal band, so even with earplugs may not be able to stay long.  But it's out isn't.  Take care