Till death do us part

Hello

i think it’s right that you do what you need to give you some peace and comfort. Others should respect your choices. You should be proud of yourself that you managed to go to a family wedding. I have a christening to go to in the summer, hopefully I will be ok, hardly been out of the door for 9 months, except to go to the supermarket and collect my son for his twice a week visits, only a 5 minute drive away. Everything and I mean everything is so tough since Linda passed, so please continue to visit the cemetery for as long as you need to, you must do what’s right for you. 

I don’t feel that family totally understand that our grief is different, when we lose our partner, we lose our world. I have lost both my parents many years ago and although I grieved, it in no way compared to how I feel now and how I feel so totally destroyed.

thinking of you 

keep safe and well 

Hi

Why do other people feel the need to tell you what to do. To give them the benefit of the doubt , I suppose until they’ve been through this they just don’t understand how hard it is and that we each have to do what we have to do get through the days. 

My daughter is getting married in September ( two years later than it should’ve been due to Covid ) and I honestly don’t know how I’m going to get through the day. Dave was her step dad from  her being six (she’ll be 32 in July) and she'd even asked him to dothe father of fthe bride speech. When he found out he was terminal his target was to make it to the wedding. He was so proud of her and wanted to see her I her wedding dress. It’s 5 months away but already I can’t stop the tears every time I think about it. Don’t know how I’m going to get through the day without him. 

You will get through the day but not without a few tears to be expected at different times and events during the whole day. I expected my mother-in-law to be compassionate towards me as she lost her husband, Colins dad, when she was 40 - maybe she is hard because their marriage wasn't particularly happy I'm told.

Enjoy all the preparations for your daughters wedding, I love a wedding and we were both so excited to see a wedding at Gretna Green some years ago.

My Wife Linda, bought a complete wedding outfit for her Sons wedding, she was so excited, unfortunately due to Covid the wedding was cancelled a few times, finally Linda passed before the wedding, she was dressed in her Wedding outfit for her cremation, as sad as it is, she did get to wear the outfit, have photos of her trying it on for family, so beautiful ️

Bootsy It's not you it's them, I have been told a couple of times now that I shouldn't go to see Gill at the cemetery as often as I do.  It's not as though I am there every day but several times a week I feel the need to be with Gill, to talk, to cry, to make sure that her headstone and flowers are as presentable as we both would like, or just to be there silent lost in thought.  I wonder are we making others feel that they should do more? and if we stop then their conscience will be clear?

The phrase "till death do us part" goes through my head many times a day, it really doesn't feel like a fair contract, but not one we can change.

Hello

I haven’t been to where my Linda’s ashes were lain, I sometimes think I should, but I know she isn’t there, she’s in my heart. I will go to the cemetery on the 17th July, just to check all is ok. The year anniversary will be tough.
As has been said many times on here, there’s no right or wrong way, we have and must do what’s right for us.

keep safe and well