Partner died suddenly two weeks ago

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I wanted to reach out to this group as after being diagnosed with incurable lung cancer in December my lovely partner died so suddenly two weeks ago from a secondary infection. He had just completed radiotherapy course and was doing well and was stable so this was a huge shock. Anyone here will know the overwhelming sadness and grief I am feeling. He was 58 and I feel so cheated . 

  • Bless you, I just joined, lost my wife to a very agressive cancer 3 years ago and it still hurts very very much. Where are you from?

  • That's very similar to my husband. He had responded better than expected to chemotherapy and was due to commence radiotherapy. He died from a pulmonary embolism despite being on blood thinners. 

    As you say it's a huge shock when things appear to be going well. 

    Take care 

    Look to the moon.
    Can't imagine any future without my soulmate
  • Hello

    so sorry to hear your very sad news.

    Words are never adequate at times like this.

    thinking of you.

    Sweat Linda You are my best memory, You are all of my best memories

  • Thanks so much for replying . Every day is such an uphill battle right now . I am overwhelmed with sadness and guilt. I am beating myself up thinking I should have done more to save him. Silly I know but torture in early hours . I know it will pass but life without him seems to stretch out unbearably. 

  • Thank you for bothering to reply . It’s all such a shock and struggle. I am in Cambridgeshire 

  • Thank you . I know people here will understand and that is a comfort x

  • I know just what you mean about the guilt.  I try to think what I'd say to someone else as we can be much harder on ourselves. 

    Take care

    Look to the moon.
    Can't imagine any future without my soulmate
  • Hi 

    My husband died suddenly and very quickly from lung cancer. He was due to go for his last chemo session the day after he died. I found him face down on the floor dead. 

    The hospital and ambulance crew made a number of errors but going to Pals just left me more angry and frustrated, so I gave up. 

    It was over 2 years ago now and I have moved forward. I hope things improve for you over time. I am still angry about his lack of care especially when I hear such bad things happening in hospital still. 

    • Love and hugs. Sorry you are one of us on this group. Alison xxx
  • I am so sorry to hear you had poor care to negotiate as well. Honestly I couldn’t fault the team caring for partner. They tried really hard to save him but the infection was too aggressive and he was so distressed . In the end his lungs just couldn’t function. He was in hospital for five days and I stayed with him the whole time .

  • Hi Kimsw 

    It was not good at the time but a while ago now and I am still young enough to move forward and not dwell. The worst thing was that I am a nurse and I am old style trained and expect better. I am reassured to know that there is still some good quality care out there and very pleased that your husband got that care and passed with dignity. I hope that has made it slightly easier for you.

    Love and hugs Alison xxx