Thursday 17th March a day I dread each month, it is 5 months today since I lost my one and only ever true love Sharon. She gave me the happiest, most loving and amazing 6 years of my entire 64 years.
I somehow thought the 17th would get a little easier, how wrong was I Came to bed over an hour ago , took sleeping tablet and still I'm here having pulled myself out of a huge meltdown holding Sharon's photo. My eyes are sore from the tears. It's feels like yesterday that I held her in my arms as she took her last breath, the emotions are just as strong, still I find it hard to accept she is truly gone. Why, why, why did we have to be punished like this, we just wanted to enjoy life while we could then just grow old together !
As anyone who knew her would say Sharon radiated beauty inside & out, always kind, caring, understanding with anyone she met and never judged people. I was overwhelmed the first time I met her, little did I realise the impact this lady would have on my life in such a short time.
Now I'm just rambling on but that's because I miss her so so much, my whole life just feels empty, it's like I'm just a ship lost at sea with no direction or purpose. Occasionally now people may ask me about the future and they all get the same answer.. I have just one single purpose and that is to be reunited with the only lady I have ever loved.
I pray each night my time alone will not be unnecessarily long, and that soon I will hold my one true love in my arms once more, right where she belongs 
Goodnight everyone, may our loved ones watch over us until we meet again XX
Best Wishes,
Paul x
Hi Andy,
Maybe early for me yet (5 m) but I have never considered selling the home we set up together. A 4yr old 4 bed detached new build. It was OUR home, and full of memories. I couldn't imagine selling it, plus I am blessed with excellent neighbours, a large garden that I'm sure will help me again in due course. There are also my small circle of friends, the genuine ones continue to see me, comfort and support me in anyway they can.
It's just me & Tilly our Yorkie who has now gone blind, along with other health issues. I promised Sharon I would take care of her, which I do and she repays me with lots of love in return. In fact she's like a shadow to me now, I try to imagine part of Sharon is within Tilly ensuring I feel loved !
As you say Alan it's damn tough, I know my life can never me the same again, any happiness these days is quite short lived. The love is very different to that I shared with Sharon, and what I miss so so much.
This week we're away for week with my brother and his dog, in remote log cabin. At home the decorator is in and when I get home, the house will hopefully feel brighter & fresher and will help cheer me up
If it does I will have rest of house done when I'm away in June. I am fortunate to have pensions and savings that allow me a comfortable life. But as someone told me they don't put pockets in shrouds, I agree and intend to do the things that cheer me up, not just sit on it to leave it to others. Short holiday break in the countryside, overseas I cannot consider on my own without Sharon, especially cruising. My other interest has developed in quality watches, will be strange to many I'm sure, but I get happiness from it and also an investment for those I will leave behind.
The sunshine is glorious, I hope everyone can draw some comfort from this and get something positive the day.
Take care and bless you all.
Paul xx
