Struggling a bit

I think everything needs to be done at your own pace. My husband passed away only 9 weeks but he told me not to hang on to his stuff! I have do e the wardrobe and his drawers but I still have stuff in the bathroom and garage that I've not yet got to. The charity bag thing is definitely my way forward - waiting for one to arrive! Everyone's situation is different and you have to do what's right for you and when it feels okay. Thinking of you x

Hello

you are so right, there is no right or wrong time. I gave some of Linda’s special possessions, fairly early on, her beloved dolls prams, dolls and dolls clothes to close family, I knew it would give comfort to them. But I can’t bring myself to do anything with her clothes, her trousers are still hanging on the wardrobe door where she left them 9 months ago, the bathroom is untouched, I had the shower room and Linda the bathroom. One day I will get my daughters over and help me sort them, until then, they aren’t doing any harm, it’s so tough thinking of moving them, but it will have to be done eventually 

I've already learnt there's no right or wrong. O didn't want anything that reminded me.of him being sick so did that first then tackled the wardrobe etc. In fact I sent all his winter coats to Ukraine. I don't think I can eventually move forward with lots of his stuff around. I've kept some.key bits of clothing and I have found a company that use loved ones clothes to makes cushions blankets or teddies from them so I plan to send some bits to them to make a cushion. He would have wanted me to clear his clothes sooner rather than later so that's what I have done. The hardest thing is once you clear something you have an empty space and I have to repurpose it. Take care everyone x

Today I have listened to the songs that were played at Nic's funeral for the first time in months and without bawling my eyes out.  I bellowed them out, taking in the words. Two of them were not special to Nic, but expressed how I was feeling after he died. The other was very special to both of us. I felt released somehow that I was not a wreck listening to them.  Maybe this is a little step forward, who knows.  I just know it made me feel a little bit better.

Weird how these things happen.

Best wishes to you all.

That's so good to hear and I'm so pleased for you. Small steps I'm told so keep going. I managed a swim in Saturday and felt so much better for it. Not something Adrian did unless on holiday so not too many memories - just the first time I've been since he passed. We'll all get each other through this nightmare x 

Hope everyone has managed the weekend in whatever way possible x

I so love swimming, I know it’s got expensive over the years, “when I were a lad” it was pennies, I wasn’t well off, not were my parents, but the cost of swimming didn’t even come in to it, nor did the bus fare
I am worried about Covid, I’m not sure if a swimming pool is safer or more dangerous than a supermarket. Have a swimming pool 5 minutes away, maybe I should take the ‘plunge’ be so good for me.

O too worry about covid especially as spent two years with husband and son(23) shielding. Hubby had liver disease and son Crohn's disease. Hubby contracted covid in hospital mat a point he was sickest with the cancer and he survived and didn't need any special treatment. Think cos had vaccines and his booster. Son and I got about two weeks later not from hubby and my some was the least sick and he is on immune suppressants. My theory about the pool is that the chlorine would kill anything off and I go in quiet times. I'm lucky  to belong to a village hotel health club - I only really swim though. I always feel better after and I'm hoping a few visits will help me deal mentally with my loss. Maybe take the plunge! X

Covid hasn’t been our friend  couldn’t bear having that being on my own 
Think you’ve, convinced me, just got to find my swimming trunks 

Just checked and it’s £2.90 for seniors, so that’s not too bad, asked when the quiet times are, will update if I actually manage it

Well you've already made a big step finding out how much it is. So that amazing! A very positive thing. Let me know if you make.it one day x

positivemum, I must admit that's what I discovered - there is no right or wrong. All of Allison's clothes are still here after 15 months, though her creams and perfumes now gone. Not that I have worried about this too much, but have not so far felt the need to do something with them.  Perhaps it's still some form of comfort.  I've done a number of other things around the house, plus have more plans in place, so I don't think I am trying to preserve everything the way it was.

I will probably begin to do something with her clothes soon though, as I do probably think that I have been subconsciously putting it off.  Perhaps my recent dip has something to do with this - I really don't know.  We barely had the chance to discuss anything before she died, so am not sure what she would have wanted. She was always a bit of a hoarder!

Again, I'm glad to have found this site and to hear everyone else's stories.  Resonates so much.  We are not alone.

Have a lovely day all.