It’s been over a year….

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It’s been over a year since my husband, soulmate of almost 40 years passed away due to a crazy fast spreading lung cancer. From diagnosis to leaving me it was just 5 months. Totally out of the blue, from being super healthy and active to not here any more.

.Diagnosis was right at the start of the pandemic, it was scary, there were no covid tests then, no vaccines in sight. The news every day was horrendous. We had no one to the house and after every hospital visit we came home and threw our clothes in the washing machine. No family or friends could visit and his funeral was small and limited, not the beautiful send off that he deserved.

I’m coping, yes I am but only if I keep super busy, if I slow down and let my thoughts in, I feel overwhelmed.

I know he would want me to be strong and to look after myself the way he always did, and I am trying.

Outwardly I appear to be doing OK, I want to appear strong so that my two grown up children don’t feel that they have to worry about me.

But I feel I need to talk to a bereavement counsellor and I don’t now how to do that. I’ve kept it all inside for so long now.
I would be grateful for any advice on where to begin?
Thank you

ellie 73 over 2 years ago

Hi Berrie

Sorry this is how you are feeling, though i have to say it was just over a year after losing my hubby of 53years that this happened to me,

I phoned the Hospice where Tom was and i got the help, and for me it was the best thing i done for me.

You can phone Macmillan number on this page, cruse and Marie Curie .

There is help out there you have to reach out, phone your GP.

My grown up children like yours have lost their Dad but not the same as i told them at losing the other half of you, i was cut in half lost, did not know who i was on my own.

I had never been on my own before, though i am now finding out who i am, i am not lonely but alone there is difference.

Please reach out.

Take Care Ellie x

ChilliChilli over 2 years ago

Hi there,

It's a year next week since Rob died. It has been an awaful year, but then think of the year before when he was 7 months from feeling slightly ill, diagnoses, 12 weeks in hospital, no visiting, then 11 weeks on end of life care, until he died, all during a pandemic.

Not sure how I got through Christmas and New year now have to face the anniversary of his death.

I have been having counselling from MacMillan, the helpline gave me a local number, stated May, varied from weekly to fortnightly to monthly, really as i have needed it.

I have made good progress, some days are better than others, but just wish I could have my old life back, feel so so sad.

Take care

Donna

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