Music

A song from my very younger days. X

Gosh I hate that song so much. I heard it first when I was a little girl and it frightened me and I cried. I have since heard it 3 times at significant moments.!All within a few weeks/months  of the loss of first my dad and then just months later my mum and just recently the loss of my soulmate, rock and love of my life Guy.  Here it is again. “What becomes of the broken hearted” I wish I knew, I certainly do “need to find some kind of peace of mind!” 
All of us on this site do. I’m so sorry for your loss Steve.

Linda xx

Hello Steve

Music can affect us in different ways, I still haven’t been able to listen to any music since Linda passed, I tried Christmas songs, but was too painful, especially as Linda so loved Christmas music, couldn’t bear the thought that she wasn’t here listening with me. I tried Phil Collins, one of her favourites, but again, just made me bawl. The only music I can listen to is the meditative collection I put together, I Just play this with eyes closed and try to relax, it does work, sometimes with gentle tears. Maybe one day I’ll be able to listen to other music.

keep safe and well

I’ve found that music really “helps” me. My husband was a guitarist so sometimes I listen to the songs he played (and cry buckets), sometimes I listen to our songs (and cry buckets) and sometimes find new songs that really resonate.
Yesterday Daves plaque was put up in the memorial garden so before I went I created a playlist of songs that meant something to us and while I was there I played them (using headphones). I sobbed but music was such a massive part of Dave that listening to it makes me feel close to him.

A particular song I’m listening to a lot at the minute is “To where you are” by Josh Groban. Definitely not Daves genre of music but the words in it are beautiful. 

Yes music makes me cry but for me that’s a good thing. It helps to release the hurt. 

Take care 

Jillian 

That’s lovely Jillian, I so glad music is helping you, Mart was also into his music and spent hours listening. I remember Josh Groban, not someone we have really listened to but a beautiful song, with very beautiful, poignant lyrics.

 Only just started the book but finding it real and honest so far.

All my best…. Linda x

Hello 

Like you, I haven’t listened to music since Ian passed away 29 weeks tomorrow. I also can’t watch any television that we used to watch together. The words and memories are just too painful still.

Take care

Julie x

Hello Julie 

Linda so loved her music, when she was well, the first thing she did was put her music on, used to play it while doing the housework, seems such a very long time ago.  maybe over time I will be able to have music on.  TV is affecting me differently, I get spells where everything makes me anxious and irritable, then a week or so later I’m ok again. I have bewitched to finish watching, we sos so loved this show, but it just leaves me cold now, again maybe one day I will finish watching it. My Son watched princes bride with me, as Linda recommended it to him, was a bit dated but had a special meaning, also watched The Beatles yellow submarine, as we watched that with Linda, more than once I think.

keep safe and well

That's really interesting to see everyone's experience with music.

For me I found comfort first in the music I used to listen before knowing Juliette, so back to my heavy metal teenage years. But then my daughters still wanted to listen to lots of music attached to us as a family like the Beatles, Grandaddy, Eels, and so many more. We used to have music on all the time, even made music videos when the girls were younger. On my own I listen to things that are not connected to Juliette that much, it's less triggering. But I have found sometimes that one of those shared songs would pop up in my mind and then I felt ready to go back to it. Doesn't always work, sometimes I have to stop because my mood gets so much worse.

And another thing I've done is putting this kind of triggering music at the right time, when people are around. We had Juliette's brother over the weekend, so I put on Leonard Cohen, which I couldn't listen to since Juliette's passing. We were having dinner and it was nice. I'm trying to detrigger those songs basically!

Same with TV. Some stuff I can watch without her but I've ditched most of the TV Shows we were watching. Too triggering! Instead I watch new things, listen to new music, etc.

Hugs to all of you xx

Antoine