Counselling.. is it a waste of time?

Hi Alison,

I agree that you would probably benefit from counselling or at least having someone impartial that you can talk to as it sounds like you have a lot of  emotions and anger to offload.

I can empathise with much of what you have to say... I still feel so angry at myself for staying with my first husband for as long as I did. Drink/drugs and abuse towards me meant far more to him than I did. 

Now I have the added anger that my second husband who was a good, kind, hard working man died far too young. Yet, I know the first one who is much older is still alive and continues to be a pi** head abusing his body and never worked for most of his life.

Life is so unfair...

It seems that grief is made up of so much more than the death of our loved one. It brings other emotions and hurts to the forefront which underline our loss and adds to the raw pain.

Take time to look after yourself. Hopefully your physical health will be sorted soon which in turn will help you to recover from your emotional pain.

Keep strong x

I finally received the long awaited phone call from the counsellor that the nurse at the GP clinic referred me to.

Having spent the hour before anxiously working myself up...I answered her questions then told her a lot of stuff past and present...

At the end of it I got told that she thinks I need to contact a Bereavement Counsellor!!! Duh?  I thought that is whom I had been referred to!

Now I'm really angry with myself that I spent half an hour telling a stranger stuff about myself and my emotions simply to be told I'll send you an email this afternoon with details of a bereavement counsellor to self refer yourself to but there's probably a long waiting list... she never sent the email.

What a waste of time that was! No wonder many people like myself end up bottling things up inside.

Pooka 

Hi, a few months ago a Macmillan Project worker asked me I would like to have a weekly call from a lady who is a volunteer at Macmillan - these calls have been a godsend - we talk for about an hour at a time - I lost my husband of 54 yrs last April after a 7 week diagnosis - it was really hard as no visiting due to Civic etc - I have been able to talk to my phone friend about feelings etc and it has been so comforting - in fact we have become really friendly so I have been so lucky and look forward to each call - hope you can get the help and comfort that I have received.

Hi Pooka 

Thank you for your understanding! Life is not fair! By rights Ric should have had a pickled liver but it was healthy!!!

I am sorry that your counseling hasn't worked out as you thought. Yes it takes a lot to talk to someone and then bang, not the right person! I had that when Simon died, which I did quietly because Ric thought it shouldn't be a problem! Then she said, I don't do bereavement! Put me off!!!

We are both probably strong ladies! But I did feel alone yesterday! I am not sure why!!! I know I am not really but just did! 

Keep trying

Love and hugs Alison xxx