Unexpected gift at an unexpected time

Hello Dutsie

such a beautiful moving story, thank you for sharing that with us all. I haven’t found anything like that of Linda’s, but her Sister told me something I never knew, which moved me deeply.

”A little memory for you. Linda and I were really close but between the years 1984-1988 we formed a deep spiritual bond that sustained us when we were apart. We were Soul sisters. She used to say I was the magical half of her and she was the logical half of me. During one of our many and  long enlightening chats she shared this with me. She said there is only one person in this world who always calls me Linda and that’s Keith, that’s why I knew he was the one!”

I just can’t explain how that made me feel, hearing something as meaningful as that was everything to me.

keep safe and well

Hi Dutsie,

That was lovely. Not only did your husband leave you that precious gift of a painting but he also offered you  a wonderful lesson in life. He showed you it was possible to be happy again after such a tremendous loss. Something tells me, though, that when he met you, you were that unexpected gift for him.

I don't need to tell you this, but you know that I hope you'll achieve everything you hope to in 2022. Step by step, we'll get there, and we all will; slowly but surely.

So, to everyone here, to whom I am so grateful, I wish you some measure of serenity and hope for 2022.

Hi Keith,

Thank you for your message. I read your profile which is so touching. You both really were meant to be together! 

I am so sorry to learn about your recent loss. It is still early days for you and I hope that you are taking care of yourself. 

Grieving with gratitude has certainly helped me to move forward - it was very nice to hear about your meaningful moment. Look forward to hearing more. 

With lots of love,

Dutsie Xx

Good to hear from you Limbo! 

"Be sure to write" is another phrase that is used in the.movie. It reminded me of our personal correspondence in addition to here on the forum. This really did help me to see things in a different perspective whilst making sense of my own thoughts...

I am so grateful for our friendship as well as the virtual friendships here x

What a lovely tribute Dutsie,

I will definitely be looking to see if I can find the film you mention... so much of what you write resonates with me. 

Enjoy your picture, not only was it skilfully painted by a talented artist but with love mixed into every stroke of the brush.

I wish you a better 2022 and remember to keep being kind to yourself.

Mym x

Thanks Pooka,

Hoping the best for you as well. With covid - grief has been more complicated. over the last couple of years as even without it, grief is very isolating. 

Really hoping 2022 is better for all and people joining later here get the face-to -face support which is also valuable.  

Be kind to yourself as well.

With lots of love,

Dutsie Xx

Hi Dutsie,

We are already in 2022 now and I am sitting here catching up with messages on here. I found your message so moving. You know that we are a similar timeline and we have often commented on each other's posts.

How lovely that you found the painting - the unexpected gift that helped you remember the love you had for one another - and I am somehow convinced that you found it at exactly the right time. Perhaps it was necessary for you to find it a couple of years after his death and after doubts had started to creep in about your relationship, in the sense that that was when you needed reminding. I hope that makes sense.

What else can I say? Well, maybe just that, like you, I can say that 3 and a half years on I still miss my beloved Paul very much but I am hopeful for 2022.

Wishing you all the very best for 2022 and good luck with achieving our goals! XXX

Great to hear from you Mel.

Hope you are keeping well and thank you for your message which I agree with. I needed to be patient with a lot of things. It takes time to process one the most traumatic life experience of loss but we get there somehow in our own way.... 

With lots of love,

Dutsie Xx

Hi Dutsie,

Yes I am doing okay. Spending the Christmas and New Year's period in Germany with my parents. I came over on 16th December as I knew I wouldn't get much more work in 2021 anyway. So I have been here for a little over two weeks now. It is a strange time. My dad's Parkinsons and Lewy Body Dementia are progressing rapidly and my mum, even though she is trying to do a good job, gets it horribly wrong sometimes, criticising and moaning at my dad who doesn't know why, it's really hard to watch. I can see this pattern because I know it from myself; there were days when Paul drove me mad with his ever-increasing confusion, his stubbronness when, for example, I told him to eat or drink something small and he said he had done it and then I discovered that he hadn't, etc. and I feel for my mum as much as I feel for my dad, but maybe I feel for him more because he is the sick one after all.

You said something in your post, Dutsie, that I found really interesting about the time when doubts thad crept in about your relationship. Just to say that I had those times too. When I thought about the two times Paul decided to split up with me because, as he later admitted, he was afraid of too much closeness, I was so heart-broken and said and depressed, and the memory of that came to mind about six months ago and I was surprised at how angry I was with him for that and how much I thought, "Well, did he really and truly love me?" But thankfully it was only a number of days later that I remembered, actually through listening to a tape/a recording of just a normal day when we cooked a meal, that, yes, we were soul mates and that this break-up was in fact necessary so that later on he was no longer afraid of closeness and committing. I think even if our partners were still alive it could happen that here and there a doubt or a resentment about something would creep in, don't you think?

Lots of love Mel XXX