My husband Gareth passed away on 10th November.Our lovely hospice nurse who had visited us at home for the last year told me that it is often after about six weeks that the realisation of what has happened really hits you.Unfortunately we are at that point now,not helped by Christmas looming.Both my son and I are having a bad week.It is just so difficult to comprehend that Gareth has gone and will never come back. I think all through his illness neither of us really thought it would actually happen even though we knew it would. I can’t imagine what it must be like to loose a loved one very suddenly without any warning. I will access some counselling in the new year,I have coped quite well up until now by being busy but there isn’t so much to do now.Has anyone else had the six week crash.We used to try to go away for Christmas,often somewhere hot and sunny,I suffer with SAD and it has always helped me to have some sunshine in the winter.
Hi Alice,
As Tracey and Allison said, take it easy. I can't remember my 6 weeks after. I think I was numb still. But in any case it doesn't really matter. You'll find that you'll be down for a while, and then you'll go back up again, especially if you've managed quite well up until now. It's still very raw right now and it takes time but you seem to be managing. Counselling might help too.
Christmas is a terrible time for everybody in pain because of all the pressure, but if you can, try to not care too much about it. Do what feels right and be gentle with yourself. Small steps, etc.
I've been thinking about buying a therapy light for a while now, it seems to be working great. Maybe you should treat yourself with one! Doesn't beat actually going somewhere hot and sunny, but it's better than nothing. 
Take care xx
Antoine
Hello
yes that’s a difficult time, I felt I just couldn’t go on, life seemed so pointless, I knew if I could be a little stronger I would come out of the other side. People tell you, it will get better over time, but so soon after a loss, it’s really impossible to believe it. But please believe me, you will slowly find the really intense pain will ease, I still cry, sometimes for the silliest reasons, but beginning to feel that I can actually manage, it’s not a life or reality I want, but one I have to accept, I am at 5 months now, feel so empty inside. I had to accept that I needed some medical support and the Citalopram really has helped, I hate taking medications, but sometimes we just need a little help. Was offered counselling, but talk so much about my feelings to family I don’t think it would help me, but have a phone number, in case I change my mind. It really does help some people, we are all so different.
be kind to yourself, you need to grieve and cry, I listen to relaxation music, although it does make me cry, I do feel calmer afterwards, a few days ago I actually feel asleep listening to it.
Keep safe and well
Linda You are my best memory, You are all of my best memories
