Talking

Hi Jon,

You do not have to see your GP to access counselling. CRUSE are a national organisation which specialises in bereavement counselling and lots helpful information on their website, MacMillan/ local hospice can also arrange for you. I have not accessed any counselling to can’t comment on effectiveness think it is too early for me at the moment.

Really sorry to say the GP doesn’t have time to ring you to see how you’re doing - apologise for being blunt with this but it is how it is!

Perhaps try to start to pursue a new hobby or interest - Meet Up is a useful starting place and lots of different activities on here.

Hope this helps a little

Tracey xx

Thanks Tracey 

I appreciate your comments 

new hobbies, no thanks   its a bit soon for me anyway   

Kindest wishes 

Jon. 

Hi Jon,,

I don't live anywhere near the UK so I can't recommend anyone but I do encourage you to ask around. I saw a psychologist for a year (ended the sessions in June this year). I don't know what the talks did for me; I don't know if they helped with my grief but it was a relief to get out all the emotions. I moved to a country where I had no friends and I needed to speak to someone in the flesh and blood. What was especially helpful was being able to expel some of the more traumatic moments I hope you find someone.

Hi jon its 17 weeks since my lovely wife Lynne passed away and I have had two sessions on the phone with a counsellor, it is with someone from a local cancer care charity, the first session was 3 weeks ago and lasted 50 minutes and went ok he just prompted me to tell him about my situation and how I felt, the second session last week went the same way with him asking how I felt about everything but I'd already told him last time and nothing had changed,I didn't feel any different, so I didn't know what else to tell him so there were long silences where neither of us spoke so I cut it short after 25 minutes but he asked me to keep the next appointment so we will see how it goes ,having said that counsellors will have different methods and I'm not that talkative and find it difficult to get my feelings out so I would say give it a go theres nothing to lose, and it might be good for you, all the best terry 

Hi Jon, my husband died 1st Nov, and my GP hasn't been in touch either. I really think they are just so snowed under at the moment, but it's hard not to feel abandoned. 

The  Hospice that cared for my husband both at home and as an inpatient, set up free counselling for me while he was still at home, which continues. I see someone via Zoom once a fortnight. There are weeks when I wonder why I bother, and other weeks when I can't wait for my session! Give it a go, you don't have to continue if you don't like it. 
You could make notes beforehand to be able to say what you've been doing or feeling.

 
You don't say how old you are, but are there any things that could appeal to you to get you out ? I find regular fresh air whatever the weather, is essential for me! I walk dogs for a charity to help people not able to get out. There are things out there that don't revolve around being 'social'. I hate small talk.  Do you like reading or crosswords? Gardening or visiting National Trust and the like? 

You don't mention family, have you got may to help you? 

Hi Jon

I would suggest you give counselling a try. I was lucky enough to be able to access it through a local hospice. I knew I needed help, and still do, when I picked up the post hoping it was a letter informing me Ian was coming home. He had passed away suddenly and unexpectedly about 20 weeks by then.

It was over the phone at first but I found it quite difficult to open up. So my counsellor decided we should meet and that was much better. I never thought I would be the type to talk about my feelings but how wrong I was. 

You have nothing to lose by giving it a go and hopefully, much to gain. Don’t get me wrong, I am still struggling after losing Ian  27 weeks ago but it does help being able to talk with someone.

Take care,

x Julie

hi Jon, I have counselling via the local hospice that helped us, it’s run by McMillan.  I had a session this morning, it’s good to get things off your chest and you can ramble as much as you want!  

For the first few sessions I wasn’t sure if it was helping but now I find it much easier to talk about my feelings whether it’s anger or joy.  

I would certainly recommend if this is something you want to try.

Take care

Glenis 

Thanks to everyone who took the time to reply, 

I will get the next awful week out of the way ! Then will make enquiries.     I am 52 so old but not too old !!    I have just one Dog left so I do get out for our walks,  if he could walk all day I would stay out all day.    I. Need to get back to some work, I stopped working when covid got serious to care for Maureen.  I’ve no Family who I’m in contact with, Maureen had a son , unfortunately we haven’t spoken since the funeral , sadly.  We did always get along fine.    Thanks again Glenis, Julie , peachez & Tellin.     
Take care all.   
jon.   

Hello

your local Hospice should help you, I have been offered, but waiting to see if it’s for me or not. My GP, although helpful, during a phone appointment, hasn’t contacted me. Unfortunately I don’t think they do as much as they should, I phoned during the early stages of my loss and said I had suicidal thoughts and the receptionist simply gave me a booklet on managing bereavement regarding funeral arrangements and benefits etc. the DR was shocked when I told him, he put me on Citalopram which has really helped. But unfortunately IMO you need to ask for help, in my experience this is the only way.

your feelings are very normal, I and many others experience exactly the same, most mornings I still find it difficult to get out of bed, not wanting to face another bland lonely day. It’s a struggle, but ever ever so slowly it’s improving. Please don’t worry if you think you are rambling, because you’re Not, emotions come out that way, just say what ever you want to, and know someone will be hear listening to you.

P.S. have you researched social prescribing ? DR can refer you or you can self refer, they can offer quite a bit of support, again not all options suit everyone, but worth looking into

keep safe and well

Hello Kieth 

Thanks for your reply, very helpful information. I am still wondering if I can open up to a stranger to be honest if it is over zoom or the phone I really don’t think it’s going to work for me.  The way I feel at the moment I can’t see any point because I am struggling to see any point in carrying on with life in general, it is honestly just too hard being without her.  I have moments when I think I’m doing ok then  it’s like being hit by a train,  bang…. Reality check…she’s not here.   

Keep safe, Stay well 

Jon