3 years today

Hi

 I love the quote "you have to be enough for yourself"

Very thought provoking.  I am alittle ahead of you in time scale and as you say lots of hard lonely days and I don't know how to change that.

Well done for driving, keep doing it. I'm sure Gilles was watching and proud of you.

3 years seems so long but in an instant you can right there back together. 

Keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Best wishes

I just wanted to reach out this evening to say hello and thank you for sharing your challenges and achievements. I am a true believer in letting our emotions flow, never telling people 'oh you must remain strong'. To come through this you are strong and Gilles will be so proud. I am also sending a BIG virtual hug. We all need to be kinder to ourselves. xx 

Well done for getting out for a drive, it’s early days for me, 5 months, I have to have a good reason to go out, e.g. I run out of milk etc. but just do the basic shopping I need and back home, it’s a no win situation, If I go out, I get anxious, decision making, the crowds, etc. but then at home, although I am safe and secure, I have a multitude of reminders of my Linda and our life together, so not much brings me any solace. Seems such a waste of life, just going through the motions, so so lonely and so boring.
sometimes I’m ok watching Netflix series, other times it irritates me so much and increases my anxiety, this happened today, so I turned off all the lights except the Christmas tree and put on some relaxation music, Reiki, cried for a while, then just went into a half sleep half awake state, felt better afterwards, but my World hadn’t changed, it’s still the horrible place it was.
I like the phrase in your post,  “You have to be enough for yourself” that’s very true

keep safe and well

P.S. I changed my Avatar, it’s the ilford Palais where our journey first began.

Hey Limbo,

Was thinking of you today; only just having gone past the 3 year mark by 4 days (as you know).

I loved what you said at the end. You also reminded me of your peom about road trips and travelling. I hope you found some solace in your road trip today. 

As always sending you lots of love and catch up soon. You are such an inspiring person with what you have achieved so far. Wherever Gilles is, he would be proud. 

Dutsie Xx

Hi Limbo,

How lovely to read your post - lovely because I had been thinking of you over these past couple of days and wondered how you were.

It would be lovely to be in contact more often.

Well done on doing the drive yesterday. It sounds like it was almost a symbol for how you have been living through these past three years: they weren't easy, they scared you, they made you feel tense and anxious and everything else, and yet you lived through them.

I think it's lovely to write our loved ones letters. It really helps at times. Almost as if they could read them.

Lots of love, Mel.

Thats a beautiful message, and a beautiful quote.

Self love is the only way to be able to cope with it all indeed and transform that loneliness into freedom. The good thing is that our loved ones are still carrying us with their words, their values, our common memories. That's not going anywhere and I've found that it gives us directions.

xx

Antoine

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to thank you all for your words of encouragement. I also wanted to thank you for understanding and for your insight. It's amazing what this forum has done. Most of us have never met; some of us have met online or chatted on the phone, yet you understood exactly what I was trying to say and helped me realize things I did not even put into words. We also understand that we have to go through this process at our own pace and what may seem simple and straightforward to one is a mountain to climb for the other.

Well done ..

I never met Gilles but I'm sure he would be proud of you and the way that you have coped over the past 3 years. 

x