Hello, I'm really hoping I'm not alone in feeling like this......I recently lost my husband, Kenny, (6th October) to bowel cancer. Metastasized to his liver which was the reason he passed. He was first diagnosed 12 years ago and back then was given 5 years max so he surpassed the initial prognosis. We had been together for 7 years and eventually married 2 weeks before he passed away, we had planned a wedding for the 8th of October but decided to have a last-minute wedding at home when he became very poorly. I cared for him over the last months at home, his decline in health happened incredibly fast, he was still working at the end of August and by the end of September, he was bed-bound. I was by his side when he took his last breath and held his hand tight, telling him how proud I was of how hard he had fought and that I loved him very much. Now, I thought caring for him, watching him get sicker and sicker, watching him pass away in front of my eyes and then planning his funeral would be the most difficult and heartbreaking part of this situation. But it turns out, living life without him here (or trying to) is so much harder than I could have ever imagined! And what I am finding extremely difficult is watching the world carry on, I get angry at people not talking about him, I get angry at the thought of people forgetting about him, I know everyone needs to get up/go to work/go back to 'normality' but why does it feel like I am the only one still falling to pieces rather than putting the pieces back together. Am I expecting too much from others? Are others actually expecting me to be 'getting on with life' already? Is my anger coming from another place? Are people just scared to talk about him to me or ask me how I am because they just don't know what to say? Part of me believes my thoughts and feelings can be irrational but part of me feels like people just don't care! Are all these thoughts and feelings 'normal'? I hope I'm not alone.....
