In Limbo

Hi detty. Im glad you found your way here from the other thread. Im 7 weeks into this s**t life so just a few weeks further on. 

I hope the medical examiner has phoned by now, it was about 5 days before I could register the death (get a few certificates as everyone wants one!). It would only take longer if there were any complications. Tony's funeral was almost 4 weeks after his death, we could have had it a bit sooner but we didnt want it on Halloween! The paperwork keeps going on as everyone wants your ID or marriage cert so I keep having to wait for it to come back.

Our hospice were fantastic too and I am being supported, I had a complete melt down there today at a peer support group. It happens a lot still, slightest thing sets me off.

I cant face cleaning or sorting yet, Im still at the barely functioning stage, but I do try to get out to things, just for company. 

Keep chatting, it does help. X

I really hope I dont have to keep sending my marriage certificate off as our post is terrible. We sometimes dont get anything for 2 weeks at a time. I have even had to go to the local sorting office to ask for my post. 

Our solicitor persuaded us that we needed LPA's even though we explained that Dave probably wouldn't be here at Christmas....then they totally cocked them up . We finally got a letter last week to say they would be in place on 15th December...2 days before Dave's funeral. I feel that we were ripped off by £900 as they were supposed to be fast tracked. 

Hello Detty! 

I had all this `hoo- ha` as well. Nothing could be done via the funeral directors until they had the death certificate which I too felt took an eternity for them to send. At one time the funeral assistant phoned me to find out when they would receive the death certificate. In Scotland I don't know where you are but here everything is still done remotely since covid and you can't physically go to a registry office now to register deaths, births or marriages and it all gets done over the phone well that was 2 and half years ago when Jay passed don't know if it's changed again.  Yes I remember that too years ago when I lost both my mum and dad everything was done within a matter of days and now its a couple of weeks which just prolongs the grief that bit more as if you are not going through enough without the authorities dragging their heels yes you would think with all the technology now things would be quicker. It took about 2 and a half weeks  in total to have my husbands funeral by the time everything was finalised and I just had to take the first available date that was available for the time I wanted. It's horrible to find yourself here and its just a journey none of us want to be on but here we are. We are all a good support for each other and we can all get and relate to what we are going through and feeling so whenever you feel you need to just come on here and scream, shout or whatever no one will judge you. Take Care and best wishes to you moving forwards. 

Vicky xx

My funeral directors have got everything in place..crematorium booked etc as we didnt want it to be held on Daves birthday ( just before Christmas). We got the first available date. I know someone else whose funeral directors wouldn't start until they had the death certificate & that funeral might have to wait until the New Year.I think it helped that we know the funeral directors & we went in once Dave was told he would lucky to be here @ Christmas to partially organise it.

I got the call I was waiting for yesterday from the medical examiner to tell me everything had been signed off & they were passing the information over to the registras. I've got my appointment to register Daves death today @ 11am. I can then go to the bank & try & sort that out.. no doubt they will want me to make an appointment..which just prolongs things. I'm a very organised person & I hate all the faffing & people making things more difficult than they need to be.

Im glad youve got your appt at last,. I  needed to take a friend with me, I held it all together until I left then sobbed and sobbed in my friends arms. 

I hate the faff too. If youre entitled to bereavement allowance, they will want death, marriage cert, ID but you can take it to a job centre.

The banks were relatively straighforward unless its a big estate. A lot of it I did online, except the inheritance ISA, i had to go in branch. 

The bigfest faff for me is getting the will relased as they wanted ID from all the executors and probate office will only accept the original. Note to self..dont have 3 executors!

Of course, Im in Englands, rules are diffrent if youre in Scotland or overseas.

Wishing you well. I like to think Im organised but my brain has turned to mush and I tackle just one thing at a time.

I'm the executor but the Santander have told me I need to apply for probate as he is just over the threshold which will be yet another faff of red tape to sort out. They will want the original will not a copy. &i'm scared of it getting lost in the post

Do you have a branch, wont they copy the original for you. I just sent everything recorded delivery, yes expensive, but touch wood, nothing gone missing, just takes a while to come back. 

Santander have copied everything  they have needed.They wont unfreeze the account until we get probate & that can take months

Its the Probate office that want the original will & aparently we wont get it back. 

Yes, they keep the original. Probate took 8 months for us.