1 week today she passed.

Hi Paul

I am so sorry you have had to join this group, but you are welcome as every one here truly understands what you are going threw..

Its real early days for you a week, all i can say is one day at a time, that is how i got threw it at the start, its just a day and then said the same next day, then it went into a week and so on.

Its not easy its two years just gone that i lost me hubby, does it get easier i do not cry everyday, but every so often i go to say some thing and the tears start to flow.

I still think he will be coming home soon, and i will tell Tom.

I have been angry for him leaving me, i have cursed him at times, i have cried, it is hard,

I know that you will get a lot from this group, i would never have got this far without the people here,

Grief is a funny emotions you never know from one day to another what it will be,

He made me laugh every day i so miss that, you will get threw the Funeral, you have to, i kept saying its the last thing i can do for him, the day came and went, do not remember much about it.

Lean on people if you have to, though at times i wanted to be on my own,  My children where great, it was there Dad, but as i told them nothing like losing the other half of you, i was lost, did not known who i was with out him, we where married for 53years, i am starting to find who i am on my own do not like it, but i carry on because he would want me to.

I am glad you have found this group.

Take Care Ellie xx

Dear Paul,   I am so sorry for your loss. 
its 12 weeks and 3 days since Maureen was taken from me and as you I had no idea how I was going to get through today let alone tomorrow and here I am 12 weeks, I have no idea how I got here. 
All the way through Maureen s illness we took one day at a time and I suppose that’s how.   I have no family or many friends but if you do ,  use their support.   As Ellie said, you will get through the funeral as this is the last thing we do for the one who we loved more than life itself.   I can completely understand about wanting a kiss   A hug.  As that’s all I long for just to hold her hand again, Just her being there,  the loneliness is awful.  
Today is a bad day for me,  but weekends have been for me.  
no words will take away your pain, but there are some very kind people on this site.   I wish I could say something that would help and if you find that miracle…..please share it.  
take care & god bless you 

jon.  

Oh Paul,

So sorry you having to going through this. 

I remember it well, i am 9 months down the line, to be honest I was better in the early days and months as I were "doing" the fureral, solititors, his garden and paper work ect. Everything I was doing was for Rob, almost ready for when he came home, when he got better, he had spent 12 weeks in hospital without visitors and then 11 weeks at home on end of life care. Now I have done everything (almost) I am lost, I want his approval, want him now to take over I have had enough, I am exhausted.

Sorry my ramblings are not helpful, but been hard day.

As people have said take your time, do as little or as much as you need to. But you do need to take care of yourself and let us do it too.

It's as tough as it gets, lossing your other half.

Keep posting if it helps, I read often, but don't always feel up to writing, just wanted you to know I and lots of others are here.

Take care

Donna

Donna, you are not along, i fill the same today, been pulling up carpet and underlay, never done it before hubby was the one for that. I want him to be here with me doing the jobs he used to do, i am shattered, been doing his jobs for two years, it never stops,

Hope tomorrow is kinder for you/

Take Care Ellie xx

oh Paul I do feel for you.  I hate Saturday nights at 7.10 as that is when Rob died. It is so raw for you still (as it is for us all) being just 1 week.

ive had an awful week and was actually meant to be going to France today with friends for a break, I woke up at 7 this morning and decided I wasn’t ready to go without Rob (we would have gone together), hopefully the friends understood.

You have a lot to do now including the funeral.  Reading various comments in posts, we have all treated the funeral as a celebration of our loved ones life and the years spent together, I didn’t want anybody to wear black and refused to call the wake a wake, it was a celebration of Robs life (although i did say no to the pubs suggestion of a glass of champagne on arrival!).

All i can say is take each day as it comes, I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.

Glenis 

Hello Paul, I'm so sorry you are here.  It's very early days and I completely understand how you are feeling as does everyone here.  You are not alone and have lots of support.

It's 9 months since my darling Nic passed and each day is hard.  I delayed the funeral for 6 weeks as I just couldn't face it.  There is no time limit for it so please do it when you feel ready.  I used the time to work out what I really wanted to do. The words from family and friends, together with the music I chose made it a fitting goodbye. All very sad and difficult but I know I did the best I could for him.

Please take time to sort through things.  There is a lot to do, but you'll get there.  As for the hospital stuff, please don't worry about it, you will sort it out in time.

Take care.

Felicity

Thank you. Very bad day today I'm counting the minutes down to 9.35pm it will be exactly one week since the love of my entire life passed. I only hope she is resting in peace and reunited with her beloved Nan and Grandad. 

• Paul

Hi Paul, I've tried to write a meaningful reply, but I can't.  Please know that everyone here knows how you are feeling and are here for you as and when you need support.

Take care.

Felicity 

Hello Paul

So very sorry for your loss. It’s such an awful place to find yourself and it is such early days for you. As others have said, one day at a time or even one hour at a time is the only way to get through those painful days.

I have just got through the first anniversary of losing Chris. Yes, I cry less but do I miss him less- hell no. The strangest things knock me sideways- I sobbed last night when I got into bed and realised that I’d not turned off all the lights. Chris used to do that. And as Ellie says, I still have days where I think he’ll be home soon or that I can hear him moving round the house. Grief is a strange thing and often plays cruel tricks.

As I’ve mentioned several times in other threads, someone told me to think of the funeral as a last chance to do something for someone you’ve loved. It helped although I did still sob , all be it quietly, through most of Chris’ funeral. 

Take each day steadily, take help when it’s offered but try to be kind to yourself. Don’t worry if you achieve nothing more than getting out of bed and eating some days. You don’t have to be frantically busy every day, some days you won’t have the inclination or the energy.

This group will be a support for you- we all get it, know what you’re feeling and going through. People here have been supportive and often reassured me that I’m not going completely mad. And when I’ve just needed to ramble on, they listen.

Take care, sending love and strength

Jane

x