My partner, Nic, passed away 7 months ago aged 58.
Our neighbour passed away one month earlier and today her family had her ashes interred at our village church.
I thought I was doing ok, but it hit me like a sledgehammer and I lost it a bit afterwards as the place where ashes are interred is quite close to my partner's grave. Been in tears ever since. I've realised that putting a brave face on it doesn't work, but I'm no good at opening up to people.
I have a very good friend who was there to support me but she's been so so good to me that I don't want to be a burden to her.
Oh dear, I guess I've got a way to go and have to accept that letting go in front of people is part of it, but it's just not me. I just don't like feeling or looking vulnerable even though I know I very much am.
Apologies for going on. I now realise today was positive in a way as it showed me that I'm really not so strong and resilient as I thought, and think, I am.
Anyhow, rubbish tv for a while now and then another day to get through when I wake up tomorrow.
I hope you are all coping as well as you can.
xx
