My husband passed away eight months ago , thought I was doing ok I started going out once a week with friends but I get very drunk and make some bad decisions , I really am lost and don’t know what to do
None of this stuff is easy and I know from my own personal experience when my beloved wife Marie first passed away more than six months ago, I started to drink more and more as it just masked the hurt & pain a tiny bit on the night time, but during the early hours of the morning as the drink wore off I felt ten times worse as alcohol is a depressant and I realised early on that it really isn’t the answer, well it wasn’t for me thats for sure.
I now drink socially when I’m out with others over the past month or so, and can enjoy alcohol but I try not to drink in the house by myself as I know that’s a recipe for disaster.
So please give yourself a break and just take small steps and don’t expect that your grief will just leave you after any set period of time whether its months or years as we’re all different and it effects us all differently so don’t be too hard on yourself!
PS You’re allowed to make silly mistakes too, as we often don’t think straight as we’ve experienced losing the love of our lives and sadly that makes us feel so disorientated at times that on some days we’re lucky to be able to get showered and dressed, let alone exist as a so called normal person (if only) that was possible and there was such a thing.
To me your message make so much sense so don't think you are alone with this. I've acted the same way as you but made my mistakes through social media as I have no friends to drink with.. It's just over two years since losing the love of my wife Anne and throughout that time I too have abused alcohol because it takes the inner pain away as you know. But sadly there's always a price to pay; once again as you already know. I'm not going to moralise to you or give advice. Very rarely does that approach work in my experience. I believe a person all too often has to reach rock bottom before coming to a self realisation that things need changing. The old Chinese Saying seems to say it all. " The journey of a thousand miles starts with just one step. " Stay safe Jenq.
Geoff.
At the end of all our journeying will be to find ourselves back where we started knowing the place for the first time. TS ELIOT.
