Struggling today

It's good you went out with friends but sorry to hear how down you were afterwards. I often find that after being out it can feel bad later.

Take care

Hi Hippodog, I lost my wife, Sue, 4 weeks ago and it's only been 2 weeks since her funeral. Sue was diagnosed with a very aggressive cancer at the end of January which came to us both as such a shock.

I've struggled every day since she departed and know exactly how you feel. But I've found it even more difficult since the funeral when all friends and family had to get back to their own lives. The grief is unbearable at times and I too have been trying to do our planned jobs around the house to find something to take my mind to a place where I don't have to think of her all the time. I've not found this easy because every room is just filled with Sue and the various memories of our life together over our cherished 40 years. She was my whole world and i have no idea how I'm going to move forward.

We married when she was 21 and we reached our ruby wedding anniversary the day before she died. She gave me 40 years of absolute joy. Sue was one of life's stars, everybody's friend and everybody's mother. She had the ability to light up a room and bring a ray of sunshine to people's day, an unbelievable loss to so many. 

I know I will never ever get over her but somehow I just need to learn how to manage the pain and the events that trigger the waves of emotion that run through me whenever I least expect it.

Like you I miss her so much.

I hope you find it easier as time goes on.

Hi Bosuser, I am really sorry you’re going through this. Like you, I feel like everyone’s lives are carrying on and I’m sat surrounded by my own grief. I do try to take each day as they come but I’m finding it harder every day. 

You will never get over your wife as I won’t mine and I’m sorry your wedding anniversary might be trigger for you. I hope you remember the joys of the years you’ve spent together as time goes on. 

Thank you Wildcat 

Just to say that you are not alone. I have been exactly where you both are...my beloved husband and I had our 40th, and then he was ill, and two months later pancreatic cancer was diagnosed, and there were five awful months before he passed away. It is now one year, one month and one day since he went. Thngs do shift with time, but the loss will never go, and the grief is still with me, as he is also, close by me. And, exactly as you say, suddenly out of the blue there is a trigger and I'm in tears  of pain and loss...You are braver than I am, as I can't face going out at all,with other people, I'd rather avoid that kind of pain and stay quietly at home, or go for a walk.... I send you both my sympathy...as time passes I have found everything does shift, get a bit more bearable at times, it does... Happy5.