Anniversary

Oh Bike girl, my heart goes out to you. This Saturday would have been our 45th anniversary and I really am at a loss about how to get through the day. Since Chris died last October, I’ve got through all the family birthdays, Christmas, New Year and for all of those I sort of knew what I wanted to do. Although every one of those days was painful, I had plans in my head. But this one has complete floored me- I just don’t know how to spend the day. I know people want to help us through these days but sometimes it just doesn’t help, does it? 
So I’ve no answers for you but just send huge hugs. Take care and try to do what you feel is right for you.

Jane

x

It was our wedding anniversary last week - the first without my beloved. I have gone through birthdays  etc just fine but the anniversary somehow rocked my world. I screamed, cried, was sick. I was a mess as it seemed no one but he and I ever celebrated the day. By midday I had pulled myself round a bit and spent rest of the day just being kind to myself and remembering our lives together.

He died in February and I miss him dreadfully. People do try to be kind and whilst that’s fine  I find the only person I want to get me through  is the one person who can’t. 

I will say happy anniversary to you as I so wanted someone to say it to me last week. 

Take  care and just be kind to yourself. 

June xx

Thank you for your support and virtual hugs, I know that I will get through today somehow. But I have a massive part of me missing and I need to be kind to myself.

Thank you June for your support. The day has been pretty tough but knowing that I have lovely memories, and this forum to reach out to will help me through the day.

Anniversaries are hard. I've just experienced my third without my husband, and it really wasn't easier than the first. In 10 days, it will be the anniversary of our first meeting (the day I refer to as the day my life truly began). I know it will be hard, too. The thing is, we can't not feel sad when it comes to a day where the meaning is all about your love. The date and the emotions can't be separated. So, we have to do the best we can. I don't keep my feelings to myself, so I will share with friends and family how I'm feeling and I know that helps me. We all handle it differently, but at its foundation, an anniversary like a wedding anniversary may be the hardest because of what it means. I hope you are getting through the day without too much pain. How you are managing the day is what you need, so follow your own feelings and needs. Remember the day for the joy and love and remember that your husband will live on in your heart. 

Martha

Bike Girl, it shows you care ,that’s all, you not ungrateful, antisocial or anything of that ilk, your grieving, it takes a very long time, It’s three years since I lost Adele my partner of thirty years as well and I have the odd tear , the odd day I want nothing to do with the world, so don’t beat your self up, easy to say I know.    We  owe it to our departeded loves to live our lives to the full as they cannot any longer.  Keep well, keep safe and greive as you want.