Locked door behind emptiness in front

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It has just passed a year since my beautiful husband went and the only way I can describe how I feel is this...

I am standing in a field with a impenetrable locked door against my back, that was my life. In front of me is empty fields with barren paths leading in all directions. I feel I have been stood against this door for the past year. I daily turn and bang against the door, pleading for my life back with my husband. I am ignored. I stare at the empty paths in the empty fields and do not want to take that first hesitant step to find my new life, to find me.

I know at some stage I will have to take that first step but I am so scared. I miss my husband beyond words.

Thank you for reading my post

MarthaGM over 2 years ago

Beautifully said and so very accurate. You have captured the sense of loss so well. I kept relating how I felt (and it's been nearly three years) to some lyrics from Sondheim's "Follies" -

All afternoon doing every little chore
The thought of you stays bright
Sometimes I stand in the middle of the floor
Not going left, not going right.

Grief has taken so much, including the desire to accomplish anything. I finished unpacking the last box from my move yesterday: I moved this past September...

"i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart) ..."
Life must end, but love is eternal.

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Locked door behind emptiness in front