Finding ways to cope

Hi Martha,

Thank you for sharing. Beautiful photo and a lovely story.  

My husband died a couple months after yours in December 2018, so a similar timeframe. Although you never forget, I am grateful for the time I had with my husband.. I think this attitude helps you make the most of each day. 

I personally have found a creative output in writing and have contributed to the poem thread here in the past. I think capturing the memories as you have mentioned is a great idea. In fact anything creative is great. I personally want to start going to an art class. Dont know if I can paint though. lol. 

I don't come here that often but had a story myself to share. Your post and attitude resonated with me so much that I had to reply and, now have run out of time.  I will come back later and share my story. 

With lots of love,

Dutsie Xx

Hi Dutsie,

I have definitely found writing to help. Before Chris died, I was a silversmith/jewellery designer. I've given that up. While I am still enjoying my writing, the other creativity just disappeared after he died. My designing work had been very much a team effort as he would accompany me to various events, and he was always the first to see a new piece. Like you, I want to take an art class, too. It's been years since I've done that and I've even amassed the supplies, but, still, it escapes me. I'm sure it will come back...

I hope you are well and living the best life you can. I try to remind myself that is what my husband would want for me and, no doubt what yours would want for you, too.

Martha xxx

Hi Martha,

Thanks for sharing, its a lovely story…… “a true love story” and a beautiful photo of “His Favourite spot” I totally get why he loved it.

I like your way of dealing with sad moments and as you say “working hard at finding ways to ease the pain when the rush of sadness comes in”. And to programme yourself to think of hysterically funny moments so you can laugh out loud and send the misery away, I think I’ll take that idea away with me and work on it, so thanks for sharing.

For me its only 5 months since my wife’s passing and I think of her nearly every single minute of each day and sometimes I feel like theres very little to look forward to in life without her.

But to help me get through the saddest moments, I turn to my “Handy Tool Box” and inside it is “Marie’s little Gem’s” which is what I named a file of her “one liners” which she came out with during her last days in the hospice, which was purely to help me once she passed away as she knew I would be lost without her, she truly was the most selfless person that I had ever met, let alone had the privilege of calling her my wife.

I do hope we all find peace one day. 

Take care and kind regards Ian x

I have found writing always helpful. In the beginning, I wrote a letter to Paul every single evening telling him about my day and how much I missed him. Later, I wrote a blog here on the Macmillan side. From this blog enlarged a book last year. No I haven't written in a while but in courage everyone to try it.
lots of love, Mel